Author: Ninjafang

Blade Runner’s November 2019 (IMPACT Series)

~ Ninjafang ~ Leave a comment

3n6e20n4x13hbig8

Blade Runner (1982)

Welcome to the IMPACT series where I dissect notable and iconic sequences from games and movies, and how they broadened my mind and left a lasting impression on me, years to come. 

It was called retirement. 

The Backdrop.

Blade Runner isn’t really a film that needs much introduction. A landmark piece of cinema in special effects, it is a philosophical, cyberpunk vision of the future, that is admittedly a little hammed down by the director’s self-indulgence.

Upon my first viewing, I really didn’t understand the appeal of the film. If I am brutally honest, I still don’t really get it now.

But, if I were to remove my issues with the script, the acting and pacing, I would still consider it to be a highly engrossing film for the vision of the world itself. The aesthetic on display here is utterly captivating.

I like to label these films as music video films. 

The reason why, is because if you strip it down to sound and visuals alone, it can be compelling watching.

Similar films that fit this category for me include the excellent Tron: Legacy (2010), Oblivion (2013), Ex Machina (2014), Suspiria (1977) and the two films from Panos Cosmatos, Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010) and Mandy (2018).

These are the kind of films where dialogue, acting and story take second place to the visuals of the world, and the second most important element is the score.

I suppose in a similar vein, is one of my favourite films of all time, Mad Max – Fury Road.

Blade Runner has such a strong and incredibly rich vision of Earth by 2019. It is so wholly unique and influential in how it perceives what our future will be like. Claustrophobic, homogeneous, and incredibly artificial.

I still vividly recall seeing the first few frames and being struck by the mind-blowing visuals that still hold up today. I doubt I will ever forget the image of huge ATARI signs, or the Coca Cola advert with the Japanese Woman dancing on the side of the building.

The lack of nature was startling and bizarre, cool and terribly alien. I remember staring hard at the huge pyramid like structure, an ancient symbol, transformed into a futuristic headquarters.

The opening scene arrests you straight away. It is hard to tear your eyes away from such amazing visuals.

I still marvel at the spinners that seem to effortlessly fly through the air and add even more depth to the heights of Los Angeles.

The cherry on top for this whole opening sequence, is Vangelis’ score which has the traditional synth of the 80s, but is mixed much more evocatively with a heavy emotional haunting element to it all. It’s high pitched nature has this strange hopeful airiness to it, only to be dropped suddenly by loud thumping booms, that punctuate the melody.

It is eerie, strange, musical and compelling, much like the film’s visuals itself.

Everywhere, the detail and love for this world and its’ aesthetic is beyond belief. The costumes, the light umbrellas, the language …. it’s unimaginably creative and bold.

65243b5f9c72de90d0f6d6ce6d2c25ce

Even in the future, Asian cuisine is still the cheapest. 

The Impact.

The cultural impact of Blade Runner is undeniable. Suddenly, Philip K. Dick’s work were translated into films and there are probably an untold amount of work in games, anime and television that were directly influenced by this film. Deus Ex, Ghost in the Shell, Cyberpunk 2077, even Tesla’s Cybertruck to name a few.

On a more personal note, I was more intensely interested in this depiction of the future, and it actually lead me to research more into the cyberpunk world, from consuming similar media, like Deus Ex, or identifying books that had the same dystopian vision of the future.

In a lot of ways, with the concept of replicants, “off-world” colonies and highly claustrophobic dense environments becoming ever more increasingly probable, the world shown in Blade Runner seems more and more realistic.

Space flight has now been privatised and will doubtless open new opportunities for companies to mine resources other than Earth herself, and Japan’s constant promotion of robotics and sex dolls has the inherent DNA of pleasure model replicants.

Even now, some of our top minds are discussing the ethics of AI, and how that evolution may lead humanity astray or launch it further in the evolutionary scale.

Claustrophobic urban environments, already exists in mega-cities like London, Osaka, Tokyo, Delhi, Shanghai, Cairo and Mexico City. Having visited Japan recently, I can only attest to the clammy, anxious sensation you get when there are too many people around you, and when the buildings behave more like walls, than actual structures. 

I remember walking down the endless streets of Osaka, longing for a glimpse of the sky, and getting none, and getting a very Blade Runner vibe from it all, especially at night, on the dirty streets of Dotonbori.

The world of Blade Runner, especially in those first shots, are immersive, captivating and awe-inspiring, because it seems so plausible. All the neon, grime, fashion, language, technology …. despite lacking in modern aesthetic, are deeply rooted in a reality that may come to pass.

272975

Cyberpunk at its finest. 

The Enrichment.

Blade Runner allowed me access to one of the most anxious, tightly-wound novels I have ever read, in Neuromancer, the progenitor of all cyberpunk fiction. 

If manic energy was a book, but coupled with paranoia, schizophrenia and a healthy dose of Red Bull, it would be Neuromancer.

The world that Gibson creates in that book, is literally what Blade Runner desperately tries to depict, but with a more noir feel. While Blade Runner is an almost meditative piece on the future, Neuromancer feels like a shot of adrenaline, where I spent half the book stunned by the world Gibson created and the other half ripping through the pages to find out more.

It is probably one of the most unique books I’ve ever read and one of those I dislike to revisit, because you can’t just read a chapter and be happy with it; you have to start the book from the beginning and feverishly blast through it again. While I could take out one of my favourite Clive Cussler novels and read a random chapter and be satisfied, Neuromancer demands you take the ride again from start to finish.

The creation of Neuromancer’s Chiba City most likely influenced the big Asian homogeneity in Blade Runner, especially since Asian culture has only spread in popularity with an ever increasing population growth everywhere around the globe.

I particularly love the antihero aspect of the novel, the drug addiction aspect to Case’s character something that really appealed to me somehow.

The idea that someone this desperate, this pathetic would make for an oddly compelling protagonist made for a great vision of the kind of people that would live in a society in the Sprawl.

It also helped explained why the book felt so …. fast and manic. As if Case himself was writing about his own experiences.

Blade Runner allowed me to visualise Neuromancer’s world more clearly, but in a much more Japanese fashion, due to the numerous references to Japanese culture in the book. Something I noted Cyberpunk 2077 seems to take direct inspiration from.

I suspect, there is a lot more of Cyberpunk 2077 that is directly in line with Neuromancer than any other cyberpunk fiction out there, I, for one, am glad, because the book itself never got any proper “visual” release of its vision.

To this day, I still adore cyberpunk style, fashion and aesthetic, but I am truly hoping that it doesn’t become a reality. I would rather avoid doing the Voight-Kampff test or fall in love with a replicant (slightly ironic, since my girlfriend name is actually Rachel).

ojlx8lw30sf41

Neuromancer by William Gibson. If cocaine was a book. 

The Culmination.

Blade Runner’s opening sequence is arguably one of cinema’s most aesthetically arresting introduction to a never before seen world. It instantly sets a unique tone, with its art direction, its pacing and Vangelis melodies.

Even the sequel, Blade Runner 2049, couldn’t quite capture the magic of the original, instead going for a different visual direction that enhances the world already established.

I will naturally be making an IMPACT analysis on Blade Runner 2049, since it was actually one of the my favourite films in recent releases, but that will be done later.

Blade Runner inspired me and so many others, with its depiction of the future and I truly hope there will be similar and equally interesting realistic depictions of a bizarre future to come soon!

Imagination should never stop.

IMPACT

~ Damocles.

Even in the future, cab jumping to catch criminals is a valid trope.

B30 Challenge Week 40 Rundown

~ Ninjafang ~ Leave a comment

No sun too bright

No water too cold

No wind too great

No earth too hard ….

Born a racer

To go hard faster

This is who I am

To be the quickest ever.

~ A Racing Mantra by Damocles

Today, it rained. Nothing major, not a hailstorm, thunderstorm or anything severe like that. It was the type of rain that annoyed you, but wouldn’t deter you from reaching your destination.

Unless you let it.

As the rain battered my hood, I looked down and saw my feet continue to pound that concrete. The drops that sluiced across my waterproof jacket and I realised …. I truly had run out of excuses not to exercise.

I had a waterproof jacket, that kept me at a functionally warm temperature, my runner leggings were equally coated with DWR, and my shoes were fine.

The only thing stopping me, was my will.

My tiny Ipod intoned mechanically that I still had another 15 minutes to go in my measly 30 minutes routine. Skip for 1 minute, then 2 hard sprints for 100m, rest-walk for 1 minute and then rinse and repeat.

I couldn’t let the rain stop me. The lockdown had decreed that I was only allowed outside for an hour. To give up now, would be a ridiculous waste.

So I kept going, and that … was when I came up with that mantra above. On the fly. Inspired by the famous U.S. Navy SEALs. As I composed that tiny limerick, I knew that if I had the mental strength to do that, I had the ability to push myself harder.

So on the final run, I went from 100m to 200m, struggling desperately to keep my pace.

Naturally I bottled it in the last 50 metres. My speed, energy and even oxygen intake all took a hit and I more or less stumbled to the finish line, or in my neighbourhood, commonly known as a roundabout.

Lately, due to the lockdown, I’ve been feeling more determined not to allow myself go to waste. Sure, I still game an unhealthily amount, and probably spend way too much time in front of a screen, but I refuse to let myself get myself down too much and maintain my exercise and write at least once a week.

I will admit though, the time has really melded. I thought today was only Thursday when in reality it was Friday. I wondered where the hell time had gone, but upon hindsight, it only makes sense, when you look at my poor habit of gaming, eating, running and then writing every so often. When you have work, you tend to be a more grounded in how you approach your days, since so much is stolen.

But when you have free reign over your time, without any consequences …. time is less linear and more fluid.

Staying and feeling tough, in the face of such a depressing holiday, shut away in your home, is difficult, but not unachievable.

Next week, I shall be putting even more effort into my running, with a desire to push my 30 minutes to 45 minutes. Hopefully by mid September, I can achieve a full hour and really maximise my limited time outside.

I don’t have any excuses for not keeping up this challenge. I never went to the gym nor did anything particularly extravagant.

It’s just about willpower now.

The will to improve, the will to act, the will to push and the desire to see through on this promise I made myself.

If I was truly born to race, how can I deny myself an opportunity to go faster?

Until the next Rundown.

~ Damocles.

Meteora – Linkin Park (IMPACT Series)

~ Ninjafang ~ 1 Comment

Untitled

Welcome to the IMPACT series where I dissect notable and iconic sequences from games and movies, and how they broadened my mind and left a lasting impression on me, years to come. 

I want to heal, I want to feel. What I thought was never real.

The Backdrop.

Linkin Park’s second studio album Meteora was released in 2003, and was something I only discovered in 2007, 4 years after its release.

It is also one of the best selling albums of the 21st century, with over 16 million copies sold worldwide, and with its hard hitting metal and rock it’s difficult to argue why it sold like hotcakes.

The timing of the release for this album, no doubt helped boosted sales, since the early 2000s were all about collecting exciting, impactful music in CDs (remember those?), unlike the digital services we see now.

The world was also reeling from the aftermath of September 11, with angst and anger being real emotions that spread across the globe, and resonating particularly with teenagers.

Myself included.

I had never head of Linkin Park, until a certain Michael Bay film, Transformers (2007) used the now iconic What I’ve Done in the credits and absolutely drove me crazy with obsession. This led me to discover what other songs this band had created and to this seamless album.

maxresdefault

Though we are worlds apart, like us, there’s more to them than meets the eye. I am Optimus Prime …

The Impact.

It’s very rare for me to find an album that seamlessly weave song after song, into each other. From the very first song Foreword to the last Numb each song blends into each other, a perfect 37 minute mix.

To me, that is a perfect album, where I am unable to find a single song I dislike, and the order in which they are presented, are in sync with each other.

There is an odd part of me that intensely dislike how out of chronological order certain albums are (this is almost exclusively a gripe against certain soundtracks) and so when an album like Meteora demonstrates perfect order, I get a real buzz out of it.

However, what struck me the most about Meteora was the emotion that came out of the lead singer, Chester Bennington whose voice seems the representative of every angsty teenager‘s inner turmoil.

The lyrics were provocative, interesting, and catchy, the accompanying metal, allowing you to feel like you were venting your anger in tune to the song.

Don’t Stay had you hyped for the album, with its heavy metal and airy lyrics, until it dropped all pretense and went hard.

Somewhere I Belong is a slower song, exposing the more gentle and emotionally resonant side of the album.

Lying From You has a more rap edge to it, with angry choruses and rapping to maintain a good rhythm throughout the song.

Hit the Floor fluctuates from slow and fast, angry and calm, a fascinating look into the duality that Linkin Park expresses throughout the album.

Easier to Run is the midpoint of the album, an earnest cry for help, slow and sad.

Faint picks up the pace again, with its opening riff, and the pace of the lyrics being sung. It’s the get-up song, to get you in the mood to do something again.

Figure.09 is something of a strange atmospheric song for me, having heard it in the S.W.A.T. (2003) film, when the main antagonist was driving along the streets of L.A. It’s oddly fitting for urban environments.

Breaking the Habit is something of the black sheep in the album for me. It’s totally unique and sort of at-odds with the rest of the album, but it’s so powerful and resonant, its’ hard to hate.

From the Inside behaves like the start of the end. It’s slow, thematic and the airy screams really accentuate this song.

Nobody’s Listening has a truly strange opening 5 seconds, and somehow it works. The weird flutes, the rap and the drums, only serve to highlight the screams even better.

Session behaves like an extended Foreword in that its instrumental and sombre tone makes complete sense when you couple it with Numb. 

Numb … well what is there to say? It’s the definite Linkin Park song, the best song on the album and an absolute banger from start to finish. It’s so damn good, Jay-Z remixed it in his own album later  to create Numb/Encore a song arguably just as good.

Music has always been a therapeutic mood multiplier. Something that helps you express something deep within and feel inner peace again after the song ended. When you are happy, playing a feel-good song can multiply that effect. The same applies for when you are feeling down and out.

Meteora was the perfect album for a teenager like myself, who was perpetually furious at the world. I thrived off anger when I was younger, a petulant, arrogant and bizarrely introspective child. Out of all those elements, most has resided, except for the introspection.

I loved listening to this album, feeling like I too was screaming alongside Chester, as I tried in vain to release frustrations about the world and my social status.

To say that Meteora dominated my teenage years, is probably not much of an exaggeration. I didn’t know how to get a lot of music back in the day, and the money I spent buying the CD on this album, was admittedly more than I could afford.

But the sheer replay value of the album, more than paid it off, and I even listened to it, whilst playing Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (2007).

Looking at the number of big events in my life in the year of 2007, I have to say, it was an interesting year. I got hooked on COD4 multiplayer, to the point where I am pretty sure I was classified as “addicted” and I got far too obsessed with the notion of getting an attractive girlfriend like Megan Fox in Transformers.

linkin-park-numb-MV-vid-2018-billboard-1548-768x433

I’m becoming this, all I want to do, is to be more like me and be less like you.

The Enrichment.

Beyond allowing me to discover even more of Linkin Park’s work, Meteora also enabled me to grow to appreciate a whole new genre of music.

I got more into nu-metal and indulging myself in darker music, where my life previously was dominated by classical music.

It was the perfect tonic I needed, the perfect break away from the usual classical sounds I was accustomed to, and to enjoy someone singing something that felt representative of how I felt inside.

Without my love for Meteora, I doubt I would have such eclectic taste in music today. Listening to that album, really allowed me to explore all avenues of music, beyond pop, jazz and classical.

The Culmination.

Meteora was the album that opened my eyes to how I felt internally and to the concept of a perfect album where every single song perfectly blends into one song that is 37 minutes long.

It gave me access to Linkin Park’s genius and proved to be an important factor in my development into the person I am today.

IMPACT

~ Damocles.

Sarah …. (Fiction)

~ Ninjafang ~ Leave a comment

letter

Dear Dad, 

It’s been a long time, since I last wrote to you. I’m really sorry about that! But with John, and the kids Kristen and Amber, I’ve been so busy, that I lost track of time.

However, I know that Father’s Day is coming soon, so I wanted to talk to you. I hope things are going well for you, because lately things have been a bit rocky between John and I. His new job has been causing him a lot of stress, and his temper tends to run a bit wild sometimes.

But he’s still the same loving man I remember falling in love with years ago, and I am trying to apply all the lessons you taught me, when I was young, about how much patience men and women need to give each other. I still recall when you spoke to me, about how much Mum loved and cared for you, despite your temper and how her patience and grace allowed you to open up a bit more. 

I’m trying to do the same with John, and while things were bad for a week, I think things have really settled down between us. The things you taught me about how relationships work, and the way how men behave under stress, really guided me to maintaining my own life and relationships. I wouldn’t be as strong as I am today, without you, Dad.

I do wonder though, how much did you keep from Mum and I? Recently, we went through some of your things and I had no idea that you were a pilot during the war. You never mentioned it, or bought it up, or even talked much about it, if at all. Mum told me that you kept a lot of what happened to you, to yourself. 

I guess that explained the long scar I saw on your chest, when I was younger. I was always too scared to ask about that, but now I know where it came from. You can open to me about these sort of things you know. You were always so quiet, I sometimes didn’t know how to approach you.

Mum always told me to give you a bit of space, because of all the things you went through. I never really questioned it, but looking through your things and back on how things were, I see now.

I’m proud of you Dad, and I miss you so much. Mum and I have decided to remember you by donating your things to the local RSL, and we will definitely be celebrating ANZAC Day more, with you in mind.

I wish there was more I could do for you … John mentioned that there were a lot of forums and support groups for veteran families and I’ve been looking through them all, trying to find out more about you, Dad. 

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I’m so proud of you and for everything you’ve done for me, my family, Mum and our community.

I miss you terribly, and will keep fighting to keep your flame and memory going.

I’ll talk to you soon, Dad.

Mum, John, Kristen and Amber all miss you too.

Your loving daughter,

Sarah.

 

 

Hitman’s Showstopper (IMPACT Series)

~ Ninjafang ~ Leave a comment

tjhyDsi

The Showstopper – Hitman (2016)

Welcome to the IMPACT series where I dissect notable and iconic sequences from games and movies, and how they broadened my mind and left a lasting impression on me, years to come. 

I will leave you to prepare 47 …

The Backdrop.

The very first mission in Hitman (2016) soft reboot, not only showcases the game’s engine and intricacy, but also a wholly new environment that has never been explored in many mediums; a fashion show.

It serves as a centrepiece of sorts for the game and series, the sandbox in which you can assassinate your targets is rich, layered and multi-faceted. It is extraordinarily detailed, allowing you to explore the environment at your leisure and have fun devising the most devious methods to assassinate your opponents.

Agent 47 himself is an extension of subtlety, ingenuity and minimalist work. He doesn’t run as quickly, his movements are stiffer and more measured than other notable 3rd person characters. His uniform is iconic and stylish, the red tie indicating his profession without giving too much away.

Many of the best methods of assassination involve lots of preparation work, for a pay-off that is addicting and gratifying to see how “accidental” their death seems. It is notable that the game seems to punish you for shooting everything in sight, because beyond the deduction in score, even the shooting mechanics are stiff.

You are an assassin, not a murderer. You can’t randomly murder a model or knock out a security guard without someone spotting you at a public event.

This level also establishes the Hitman franchise’s central theme.

High-Class.

From the UI (User Interface) to the music, the game oozes style and elegance, with its minimalist colour themes, layout and wording. This generates a sense that you are smarter, more lethal and devious than the people within the game universe. Like an apex predator, amongst the elite of the world.

The Parisian setting is what truly sold me on the game. I could not have thought of a better location to soft-reboot the franchise. The mansion is beautifully detailed and wonderfully thought out, with its cellars, balconies and exquisite garden. The dressing room feels accurate and the sheer varieties of uniforms that you can adopt, only creates a more immersive feel.

Even the music in the backdrop, is designed to be as immersive as possible, giving a dark twist to the usual techno/house music often heard on runways.

Everything about this level, sold Hitman as a high-end franchise, with more nuanced gameplay rewarding players for their ingenuity in crafting truly clever assassinations.

8151a5ec10200c138bab61636fc8cc50

Would you like some emetic rat poison garnish with that cocktail sir?

The Impact.

So why do I love this level so much?

To start, it was one of the most immersive levels, I had ever experienced in games. The setting was so incredibly rich and detailed, that it made other levels in the same game, didn’t quite measure up to the scope and depth of Showstopper.

I absolutely loved the entire package of the level. The music in particular had me hooked and fascinated with how the fashion world operated. I loved diving into the behind the scenes with the make-up and clothes department, the audio-technical staff that operated the rigging above and seeing the targets interact in the environment.

The crowd, the noise, the overall vibe felt accurate and realistic, and I couldn’t believe how expansive and detailed the actual mansion felt when walking through the halls and rooms.

The entire concept of a spy ring operation at the height of fashion, felt novel and unique, and I’ve yet to really find another level that really encapsulate how modern Hitman feels.

maxresdefault

Gucci Spring Summer 2020 Fashion Show

The Enrichment.

So, what did I take away from this level?

A new-found fascination with luxury and fashion of course.

I was so entranced by the high end world of luxury fashion, that I immediately began to research more. I wanted to know more about the real world’s most luxurious clothing, and chase down more of that dark house music I heard in the game.

I started to watch more fashion shows on Youtube, entranced by the bizarre rotation of clothes, models and music, all of it entirely superficial and extravagant.

The Showstopper level, didn’t even scratch the opulent insanity that some of these shows operate normally.

The fashion world is such a bizarre mix of contemporary art, hedonistic desires and superficiality. It has depth, yet completely lacks it.

It treats models like goddesses, yet they are nothing more than clothes hangers, with their body shapes designed to be as androgynous as possible, yet overwhelmingly feminine.

It’s like the ultimate definition of contradiction.

Beautiful yet ugly, artistic yet tasteless, deep but utterly shallow.

I can’t tear my eyes away from it all.

I appreciate the spectacle, the luxury, the work and the “event” of it all, but I can never really feel like I can look past how hollow it all seems.

And I got the Showstopper level to thank for all this genuine fascination and exploration.

Thanks to the game, I’ve discovered a whole new world, that I always knew existed but never really acknowledged.

Having dove relatively deep into it, all I can say is, it must be a uniquely freeing sensation, artistically and stylistically, to be fully immersed in a world free of common problems like rent or mortgages or paltry incomes.

There is a reason why these people are completely detached from the normal world, and why in a lot of ways we look up to them, for the same reason they look down upon us.

They inhabit this heightened reality, where everyone is beautiful, everyone is perfect and everyone has these dark desires to create that manifest itself in fashion and “wearable” art.

I will also say this, the trance utilised in runway shows, are absolutely my kind of electronic music, with its bizarre atmosphere and use of thumping beats.

That is something, I wholeheartedly endorse. More of that please.

If you want to see more, I do recommend the Versace Youtube channel, in particular their Fashion Show videos.

It’s makes for compelling viewing with the music, the models and the clothes on display if I am honest.

Almost as if you are vicariously living the luxury lifestyle through the screen.

There is a definite desire to attend one of these shows, although with my lack of funds, my average looks and soldierly outlook on life, I’ll probably stick out worse than a hitman who just knocked out a waiter with a wrench.

HITMAN__Paris_Screenshot_04_1454690802-Copy

Oh behave, 47 … 

The Culmination

Showstopper not only sold me on the game, and restored some faith in the Hitman franchise, after the misfire that was Absolution (2012), it also opened up my eyes to the fashion world.

I must thank the developers for their research and their ability to create such an immersive experience, that it instantly made me want to go explore more of that world.

The Showstopper was an authentic Hitman experience, because it finally went back to the franchise’s roots with expansive, detailed levels and multiple methods to assassinate targets. The sandbox felt massive, creative and fun, and the setting was so deliciously appropriate to the style and world of Agent 47.

It was also an inspired choice, as the fashion world is endlessly fascinating with all its contradictions and what better place for a Hitman to blend in, than a runway show?

And that is how Showstopper made me explore a world than I had previously never regarded.

IMPACT

~ Damocles. 

Fin – COVID-19 Final Thoughts

~ Ninjafang ~ Leave a comment

maxresdefault (1)

This is the finale to the COVID-19 Series.

Overall, I rather enjoyed writing broadly and personally about COVID-19. I’ve really allowed myself to vent out my frustration, and also see things in a more positive light than what the news has been assaulting me with for the past 6 months.

“The Great Reset” as I’ve come to coined the pandemic, has really shown the disparity in wealth and culture that globalism and capitalism has wreaked upon the world.

When you are sick, but need to go to work to earn enough upkeep to sustain your life, shit is beyond fucked.

Truly my heart goes out to all small business owners who have been destroyed by this pandemic and I can only imagine the stress and pain they are going through right now.

I’ve been fortunate to keep my retail job, this back-up plan of mine that I was going to abandon by mid 2020, literally saving me from the devastation COVID-19 has wrecked upon people’s livelihoods.

But now, with a Stage 4 lockdown coming in, I am on the same playing field, as everyone else. My store will be closed by tomorrow and I shall be out of work for the next 6 weeks.

It’ll probably feel like a very long month and a half if I am honest. I shall be putting most of my effort into getting “racer-ready” and cutting down my lap times in Gran Turismo Sport.

I’ll also have to continue my dry-firing drills, improving my Spanish and ensuring I actually come to an conclusion with regards to Sol, the sci-fi story I am creating right now.

Now that I’m looking on the mountain of work ahead of me, I’m a bit more optimistic about the stuff I have to do on this break.

With any luck, this toughest lockdown will bring the pandemic under control and some semblance of normality will return to my beloved hometown.

The cynic in me though, is skeptical. The mood here is the most down-trodden I’ve ever seen and often when the collective mood is depressive, things tend to get more self-destructive than better.

Our Premier is losing his command and respect, the people are more openly flaunting the rules, and there is a nihilistic outlook on life.

An attitude that says “if we get it, fine, so be it. I can’t be bothered fighting anymore.” This is naturally extremely dangerous and represents a collective defeatist attitude in the town, something that will only prolong the lockdown.

But, I can’t blame people for feeling that way. There is no crueller and tougher way to bounce back, after a victory felt earned, won and sealed, only for it to be taken away.

We walked away, thinking COVID-19 was defeated, that we, as a team, did our duty and job to the best of our ability. That our sacrifices meant a victory in the long run.

To have COVID-19 come back, rendering all those sacrifices for nothing, and with our bullshit tank empty, we have nothing to cling onto anymore. Hope is lost and once people lose hope, it is very difficult to behave rationally.

That is the mood of Melbourne right now, on the cusp of the toughest and strictest lockdown ever felt.

It’s as dire as it sounds.

This series has left me exhausted and replete with the amount of words and emotions I’ve dedicated to this topic.

I doubt I have much else to say on COVID-19. I’ve truly explored all the topics I want to discuss and can leave in peace.

I now have a lot of work to do and other avenues to explore.

I hope you have all enjoyed reading my opinions as much as I felt relief in writing them down.

Until the next post,

~ Damocles. 

Fantasia – Damocles’ Journal in context of COVID-19.

~ Ninjafang ~ 1 Comment

Geo5

This journal, has been expanding exponentially since I’ve decided to dust it off when I started my Before 30 Challenge. 

But it was COVID-19 that really allowed me to take this journal to another level and express myself even more.

I felt like talking more, mostly because I was being driven to the depths of boredom at work.

COVID-19 has really also made me wish I had an editor on board, because the keyboard at work is atrocious, and its “stickiness” causes a lot of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes.

I don’t think I’ve read a single post, whereupon publishing, I would reread it and be compelled to go back and edit out the mistakes.

This keyboard, I am writing on, truly sucks for speed too, as my thoughts often run faster than I can type. I do miss my home keyboard, because it allows my hands to keep pace with myself.

There’s also the frequent interruption to my chains of thoughts, as I have to duck out for a few seconds to serve customers or help them, before returning and struggle to recollect my chain of logic.

It’s a strange mental exercise, but one that I am slowly getting better at. I think it’s an important skill, to hold something in your mind, address something else, and then return to it.

Memory skills are something I really need to train and develop. It never ceases to amaze me, how much I forget in a day, the important details I’ve missed and the crucial conversations I lose track of.

Memories, I feel, are crucial to your overall mental well-being, because beyond its obvious indication that you don’t have dementia, it also serves an important function in reminding you of lessons you need to take heed of.

To err is to be human, to make the same error twice, is stupid.

In context of this journal, COVID-19 has also granted me a boom, in followers. I’ve been really surprised to see the number of people follow and read this blog, and show their support, even in the smallest way with a “like.” I have done absolutely nothing to promote this blog, no tags, no SEO-linkage, nothing at all.

So to have anyone genuinely read my posts, despite the huge amount content out there, still floors me. The fact that I have an audience, no matter how big or small it is, means that I feel encouraged to keep writing and producing stories.

Honestly, I get such a swell of emotion whenever I get that WordPress email telling me that someone reacted positively to my posts. It reaffirms my belief that I am not the most horrific writer out there, that people can actually enjoy reading something I’ve made.

This has been a surprising experience for me as well, because usually I am quite a private person, unwilling to share my thoughts, even amongst my friends. I made the decision to go public with this Journal, because I felt the need to be held accountable for my progress in the B30 Challenge.

“Public shaming” if you will.

I couldn’t live with myself, if I failed in front of people, so that’s why this Journal exists. To keep pushing me to create, be productive and keep practising what I preach.

It’s easy to convince yourself to accept failure when you are alone.

It’s a lot harder to convince yourself that you are doing things right, when you fail in front of people and peers.

I’m really glad I took up writing again, just before COVID-19 started, because it provides me with a reference to my state of mind before the pandemic. As I mentioned earlier, it’s amazing how much the human mind forgets and often, we need a record of ourselves to help enable more personal growth and introspection.

When we look back at ourselves, we should have two feelings: embarrassment and pride. Embarrassed that we were so uncivilised back then and proud that we have grown up and moved past that state.

Seeing progress in ourselves, is what makes us confident and better people.

This Journal has helped me see that I’m getting better, in some ways and worse in others. It lets me identify key problems within, and create solutions to address those issues.

It also serves as a pep talk to myself. I think, everyone reading this Journal can see that, whilst I am extraordinarily harsh on myself, I am also quite encouraging. I know that I’ve made mistakes, that I’ve slipped, but that isn’t a call for defeat, because I can just get back up, take notes on why I made a mistake, and not repeat it.

I suppose you could say, I do reassure myself a lot. Probably my subconscious working to protect my fragile ego.

But if it works, it works, and I’m not one to break from an established procedure that has proven itself.

In a way, COVID-19 has proven itself to be a bit of blessing when it comes to personal development. Whilst the world has gone to shit, I’ve felt more attuned to myself and my needs and my priorities. I’ve focused on making myself resilient and tough in the face of adversity.

And all the pandemics in the world, can’t really take that away from me.

It might seem like a waste of time, a frivolous expenditure of your life, but can it truly be all that bad, when you’ve improved yourself?

COVID-19 might have paused the world, but it can’t pause you.

Work hard, train hard and be hard.

~ Damocles.

Damocles’ Style ….

~ Ninjafang ~ Leave a comment

Farang

Team Farang, my parkour idols ever since I got interested in the discipline. 

This is a bit random, but I felt like discussing my own style and what I particularly like in clothing. 

Ever since I was in high school, and discovered for the very first time what a hoodie was, I have been interested in clothing ever since.

It’s not as strong as my love for tactical gear (I still need to get myself a plate carrier) but there is definitely a keen interest in how to clothe myself. One of the very first blogs I followed on WordPress, and have been an avid reader ever since, was BAMF Style, whose erudite and excellent analysis of so many important pop culture and obscure outfits, have enthralled me and informed my own choices.

I mostly buy a lot of muted, earthy colours. Being a Melburnian, this obviously means a lot of … blue. I’m kidding of course, in reality, the natural colour of this city is black.

But I honestly don’t own that many black items.

My approach to colour tends to be very dark navy blues, with lighter colours like brown and greys to balance out the whole look. Overall, I would have to say my style is quite muted, more akin to blending in with the crowd, than trying hard to stand out and be a personality.

It also tends to be quite functional, with many of my purchases based around my EDC policy, and thus I need a lot of strong belts, pockets and looser cuts to hide my various gadgets.

There are so many looks I would love to explore. A great example I adore is the 80s Miami Vice aesthetics of pastel pinks, blues and aqua, but with my physique and “mentality” when it comes to clothes, I cannot pull off such a look.

Another admirable trend I love, are the colours that often people of African descent can pull off. I love the bright purples, yellows and oranges that they pull off with such ease and aplomb, but, my skin tone and physique again, lacks the ability to handle such brightness.

So, how do I dress myself?

Predominantly in 3 styles.

Street. Paramilitary. Suave.

Each of these style represent a rather unique period of my life and dovetails nicely with the obsessions I had at the time. However, the current theme I noticed in all of them, are practical elements that always pay service to the gadgets I have on board.

These gadgets, have grown over the years, but currently they stand at this list:

  • Suunto All Core Watch
  • Milspec550 Paracord Trooper Bracelet
  • Samsung A90 Phone
  • Ipod Nano 7th Gen
  • Dr Dre. Powerbeats Pro headphones
  • CAT Tourniquet
  • Pelican Flashlight
  • Leatherman Skeletool
  • Car Keys
  • Pocket Tissues

It is a lot of gear to carry around, and given my perchance for running, I have to definitely have freedom of movement in whatever clothes I wear. I’ve ran in suits, street-wear and jeans, and enjoyed the feel of all of them.

If I can’t burst into a sprint at a moment’s notice, I automatically reject the garment.

So with those caveats in mind, here is a breakdown of the styles I follow.

Street.

05district-span-articleLarge

David Belle performing a stunt in the film: District 13 Ultimatum (2009)

The first real style I began to invest in, once I left the bubble of high school, was street clothing.

I was obsessed with cargo pants; their utility, baggy fit, and durability beautifully dovetailed with the amount of concrete I was slamming my body into, when I was getting into parkour.

I still recall fondly my Under Armour cargo pants, which served me for nearly 5+ years, and got so worn around the knees, there were giant holes there. I had genuinely gone through the wringer with them and to pair with these pants, I mostly wore Nike black runners, and my black Reach parkour shirt.

If I was cold, I would buy a cheap hoodie, that I didn’t mind ripping holes into. I ended up going through two hoodies.

The first was a cheap British brand, I forget the name off, in which, after a year, the hem was perforated with holes, from my rough landings. The second was my Ubi-Workshop Assassin Creed II hoodie, which had a small eagle peak atop the hood.

It was this amazing red/black design, that I absolutely loved to wear everywhere and it was also tight and streamlined, thus allowing me full freedom of movement in it.

I was also skateboarding a lot back then, having just bought a cheap board, and then spray-painting it black and adding a red Spiderman logo on it. It suited my hoodie a lot, I must say.

That was my main look, I rocked throughout most of university, skateboarding or running around in that outfit, eager to feel pavement under my feet, instead of carpeted tutorial rooms.

I still own a lot of these items, but now I’ve added a lot more colour (pastel pink and blues) and long-sleeved shirts to them. There is a uniquely Melbourne brand I shop at, called Sure! whose streetwear I love, and support, because “streetwear” should ideally be linked to the city whose streets you love the most.

I don’t really do Supreme or anything similar, mostly because the concept of paying a lot to look a bit “drab” is bizarre to me. Streetwear should be comfortable, affordable and representative of your city. Anything else, just seems excessive.

If I had to sum up my streetwear, it’s mostly long-sleeved shirts, tapered pants, a lot of clothes from the Team Farang store and admittedly, a whole lot of black, because the holes and damage don’t show up as much, when I engage in rolls and tumbles across concrete.

My streetwear, is essentially based around parkour. Comfortable, slightly stylish and sleek outfits that make me feel cool, (physically and mentally) when running through the streets of Melbourne.

Out of the three styles, this one is probably has the least amount of investment in it, because I don’t do parkour as much anymore (even though I really want to), but it is the first adoption of any particular approach towards fashion.

And there are always things on the Team Farang store I really, really want to wear.

Paramilitary.

106220990_313093626515197_5409864668817161629_n

Lucas Botkin of T.Rex Arms fame, smiling for once. 

Out of the three styles, this is my general preference and the most I’ve actually invested in.

Christened by me as the “off-duty cop” look, it is the style that military or police adopt when trying their best to “blend” with society, but really, to anyone in the business, they stand out like a sore thumb.

It is also a look, that once called out, you can instantly see what it is.

Functional, practical, and slightly mismatched. You can instantly spot why certain articles of clothing enable certain movements and concealment of gadgets. It is also getting increasingly expensive, with the rise of “military Gucci” gear, like certain type of clothes costing exorbitant amounts, because they look good and serve a good function.

Very unlike a lot of gear out there that just serve a function and look horrific.

In my case, it bought about a whole new obsession with flannel shirts, and henley shirts. I ended up with a whole host of colours to suit any mood I am in, and I always invariably ended up rolling up my sleeves and leaving that shirt unbuttoned.

Due to my size and style, I actually buy a lot of these shirts from Muji whose style and philosophy allow for comfortable, simple and nondescript clothing really help play down my paramilitary vibe. Their flannel colours are always nice and I enjoy the little collar to add some depth to the shirts.

For my base layer, it tends to be henley shirts, or just good long-sleeved shirts ideally from Superdry or since I have recently explored and upgraded to this brand, Arc’teryx. Out of the two, I preferred Arc’teryx for their colours, fit and overall feel, but my biggest issue are their stock in Australia. The Canadian and American sites really showcase how much they have on offer, and the Australian website is truly awful in comparison.

I would also love to access the Arc’teryx LEAF collection but that is an impossibility here. I also adore their jackets. I am currently saving up for one, and will be very happy once I get their outer-shell jackets.

Another brand that has actually grown a lot here, is 5.11 Tactical whose pants are phenomenal for this style. They strike the right balance between functional and aesthetic, in particular I love their Defender-Flex jeans which just hits everything I want in a pair of denim pants.

In addition to that, I frequently wear their Apex pants, and swear by them, as one of the most comfortable and utilitarian pants out there.

A typical look for me, everyday, is to slip on a long sleeved Arc’teryx shirt, a nondescript Muji outer shirt, my 5.11 jeans, and my Under Armour Valsetz combat boots, with a Arx’teryx beanie to finish the look.

Every single one of my gadgets feel good in the pockets, or hidden away on my 5.11 belt (I have yet to get a belt from T.Rex Arms) and I feel like nothing is loose or showing too much on my body.

The outfit makes me feel rugged, ready and prepared for absolutely anything, while feeling relatively stylish and casual about anything.

I absolutely love this look, and feel like it is the best representation of who I am, and what I am about.

I’ve probably spent far too much accessorising this style too, with an ever growing list of beanies, gloves, Maxpedition bags, sunglasses and caps.

It is very American-influenced and I don’t mind too much if I am honest. Ruggedness is something I aspire for.

This style is at the moment, what peak Damocles emulates currently.

Suave.

crgray-pants1

Daniel Craig as 007 in Casino Royale (2006) 

Admittedly, one of the biggest influences for me growing up, in terms of cinema, narrative, style and even as a role model, was Daniel Craig and Martin Campbell’s interpretation of James Bond in the film Casino Royale.

Still my favourite Bond film to this day, with every facet of Bond ticked off beautifully, from exotic locales, to sultry femme fatales (Eva Green still captivates me to this day), Casino Royale was one of those films I rewatched so much, I almost remember every line.

It also sparked an interest in reading the Bond novels, a series which admittedly hasn’t aged particularly well, but serve more as an example of thinking and mindsets popular back then.

What did surprise me though, were the highly detailed description of luxury, interspersed with interesting prose about life, death and action scenes.

The food, clothes, drinks and locations were all vividly described in such detail, I can still remember memorable scenes of Bond eating a meal in the books.

Casino Royale nailed that level of detail and bought it into the modern age.

I don’t think there is a single outfit in that film, that Bond wears, that I have not sought to replicate in some shape or form, except maybe that Hawaiian shirt at the beginning of the film.

The leather jacket in Miami with that pastel blue colour remains something that haunts me, knowing that I can never pull of leather as well as Daniel Craig.

The dark blue Sunspel polo in the Bahamas remains an item, just out of my reach, my bank account unable to justify the price.

Casino Royale remains the fundamental template upon which I still base a lot of my looks around when it comes to more expensive and suave taste.

British luxury brands, are definitely something I have acquired a taste for, but am unable to afford.

Take for example, N.Peal whose amazing cashmere range has been featured extensively in Skyfall, Spectre and No Time To Die. The promotional imagery of all the films, have, in some shape or form, recommended N.Peal, even more than Tom Ford.

The gorgeous tactneck for the Spectre poster, and the classic British military-styled blue jumper for No Time to Die had me salivating for something similar to garb myself.

 That cashmere. 

The perfect blend of luxury and tactical classiness on display there. I don’t think you could look anymore espionage-y if you tried.

And that … is mostly the limit of my suave style. I adore functional clothing that is luxurious and stylish, and would probably gladly swap a lot of my flannel for those jumpers, if I knew I could pull them off confidently.

My style is mostly modelled after Bond’s casual clothing, less his suits, because admittedly, I don’t see myself wearing suits that often.

However, were I to fully suit up, I would probably no doubt spend 5K on getting a Tom Ford Windsor Suit. Tom Ford’s brand and style has become something of a quiet admiration for me. I love that he somehow balances American styling with hints of British and Italian in his suits and I really cannot wait to get a suit and have it tailored to me.

But currently, I will confess, I would rather get plate armour given a choice.

But the paramilitary style for me is actually nearing completion. I’ve nearly maxed out on all the items I really want to purchase. The suave style is my next target and I will no doubt be looking to get N.Peal items very, very soon.

In fact, I only recently bought a Barbour jacket, similar to Bond’s Skyfall finale which was easily the standout costume in that film. Something about the ruggedness, earthy tones and colour combination truly, told me that I needed to adopt something similar.

Skyfall-Barbour-Jacket-4

Skyfall’s Barbour Jacket on display in the highlands of Scotland.

The suave style is something I have a lot of interest and passion for, but … goddamn it, it is just so bloody expensive.

Soon though. Hopefully, one day I will achieve the heights of masculine fashion and be the envy of my past self.

Bonus: Racing

EDTjQQ6X4AAdmwm

Charles Leclerc of Ferrari fame celebrating.

Even more of a pipe dream than my suave dream, are motorsport uniforms. I love racing suits and their casual uniforms. Classy, sporty and evocative uses of sponsors, I have always loved helmet designs and race suits, whether it is Formula 1 or MotoGP. Something about how utilitarian and functional they are at high speeds, while maintaining a distinct aesthetic really makes me wish I owned one for myself.

I particularly love helmet designs and if I am ever at a stage where I can customise my own, I will be over the moon.

I would probably go for a base of British Racing Green with accents of creamy gold  and a motif of a sword on the back of the helmet (sly reference to my name here).

But that description doesn’t really do justice to how it looks in my head.

Street, Paramilitary, and Suave. 

Those are the main styles that I wear in reality. I have invested the most in paramilitary and am seeking to expand my suave style.

Out of them all, I love paramilitary, since it feels like an extension of my personality.

But secretly, I really want suave to be the “me” people associate with.

Anyway, that is a brief breakdown of the style I predominantly wear, out and about.

Clothes are almost certainly a secret and quiet passion of mine, with so much variation, colour and styles out there, just waiting to be tried and worn out.

I do love fashion, but am certainly too poor to afford it as a pastime.

Damn it … N.Peal

~ Damocles. 

Fulfilment – COVID-19 Personal Habits.

~ Ninjafang ~ 1 Comment

Geo6

Be honest, how many of us actually started developing better habits in lockdown? 

I sure as hell didn’t.

I ended up gaining a whole lot of weight, having unfashionably long hair, and almost completely letting go of my strict diet.

The main saving grace, I suppose, is that I kept working. But the depressing vibes of working alone, in an empty store, at a depleted shopping centre, with nothing to do, ended up playing havoc with my sleeping habits, my motivation and my discipline.

The irony of COVID-19, is that I was earning more, both thanks to a very generous government and the inability to roster anyone else except myself.

But there was even less to do in these long 7 hour shifts.

Tired, lonely and my mouth aching from not actually talking to anyone, I would trundle home, eat dinner and then play games and mess about on my PC, until I would collapse from exhaustion at 3am in the morning.

Rinse and repeat.

The days would meld together, and I got more and more apathetic and dull.

Which is where I suppose, I should really thank Formula 1, for turning my life around again.

The return of my passion for racing, my inspiration for speed, my temple of pace, meant that I actually felt something break through the fog of desolation that had dictated so much of my life so far.

It got me back into racing games, transported me into genuinely wanting to be faster, smoother and agile and to re-evaluate myself and start losing weight again.

I think one of the biggest takeaways from COVID-19 has been an appraisal of personal health and well-being.

I’ve never seen so many out and about, taking walks, running and exercising, but also at the same token, I don’t think enough people are doing so too.

It’s so easy to fall into a daily routine of eating whatever you want, lounging on chairs, beds and couches, idly your time away, and reading the news about the latest COVID-19 case numbers.

I definitely can see the appeal.

It’s depressing to see numbers rise and rise, knowing that more and more of your city probably have COVID-19 and that this lockdown will only be extended longer and longer, impacting so many people’s lives.

Livelihoods and so much talent and potential has been laid waste by this virus and to fall into a funk, where you just want to watch Netflix and pretend everything is OK, that you are just holidaying in your home and taking time off work, is natural.

But, as I soon found out to my cost, that only adds depth to the bleakness.

Instead of swimming and surviving, I was sinking and suffocating.

It’s important to keep yourself sharp, at all times, when you are still able.

Old age might be encroaching, and your mortality can be held at bay if you keep yourself healthy.

Which is why I had to recapture the early spirit of 2020, when I was still hungry and eager.

I got to maintain my exercise regime and trim down more.

I have to keep practising the Spanish language, a promise I made to myself at the beginning of the year.

I need to keep writing, and make sure I can pump out at least 3 thousand words a week.

I made this series on COVID-19, and I aim to finish it.

I can’t keep abandoning things.

Personal habits should be routines you need to make, develop and adopt, not something you relapse or collapse into.

It’s damn hard to motivate yourself out of bad personal habits though.

But that is what makes you stronger, better and more productive.

Good discipline, good habits, adherence to strict routines, and constant exploration of hobbies and new interesting ideas are what creates a spice to life, that keeps you going.

Without a healthy mix of all those things, you’ll keep generating a listlessness to your life, and let COVID-19 win.

COVID-19 has created an unprecedented pause in society. Work is now cancelled and as are a lot of other things you used to do for fun.

Whether it was as simple as going to a bar for a pint, or as complex as organising a street festival celebrating a film festival, a lot of these options have been robbed from us by this pandemic.

But a pause should never be a stop. You can keep progressing, you can keep continuing on your journey.

I still have this dream of being able to race for real one day, instead of a simulator. I won’t really stop until I get to achieve that first step. I got a lot more personal training to do on my side, so much more to learn about cars, pace and speed.

I still want to continue my event business and become proud of what I’ve achieved on my own.

I still want to compete in a 3-gun competition.

I still want to publish my own novel one day too.

None of these things, have been stopped by COVID-19. Instead it’s given me more time to practice, to “dry-fire” and develop the skills I need to, without the external pressure.

Always keep training, always keep pushing your limits.

COVID-19 can’t stop you from doing that.

It sure as hell, won’t stop me.

Be disciplined, be astute and be exceptional.

Vincit qui se vincit.

He conquers, who conquers himself.

~ Damocles. 

B30 Challenge Week 37 Rundown

~ Ninjafang ~ Leave a comment

DxNHZH-WsAE49KH

We’re Not Here for Fun – Lando Norris 

Never doubt the power of passion … 

It’s been a long time, since I’ve last made a Rundown on my Before 30 Challenge. Essentially 16 weeks, since my last one, which was Week 21.

4 long months.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t slipping in that period, I slipped. I went from 73kgs to the current 76kg.

I gained, instead of going on to be healthier.

Winter and COVID-19 really did a number on me.

So what changed in that time?

Formula 1 came back. I started to get back into the groove of racing again. I wanted to spend more time on my simulator rig (it’s just a Logitech G29 Wheel, nothing to bosat about) and be more consistent with my lap times, and really narrow down my splits to within a second of each other.

I started to look forwards to Sundays and seeing those cars push the limits and live vicariously through their overtakes and the drama.

The Austrian and Styrian GPs were just the tonic for me to get back into a fitness groove again. The excitement I felt in those two races enabled me to get back into racing and look more seriously at myself.

It probably helped that I also started watching more SuperGT content on Youtube and seeing the amount of fun he had, on one of my favourite racing games, Gran Turismo Sport, really got me thinking about my health again and my passion for racing.

I was just 4 kilograms away from my goal of 69 kilograms, in Week 21, but I’ve bottled it in the final lap, and am now 7 kilos away.

I’m just grateful I didn’t slip too far.

It’s back to clean eating, loads of cardiovascular exercise and pushing my limits again. I went for a run yesterday and was shocked at how much I’ve lost speed and energy. All my gains, from 21 weeks of exercise, lost in winter hibernation and laziness.

It’s going to be a long, tough climb back to where I was again.

But I’m armed now, with more varied exercises.

Beyond skipping, running, push-ups and sit-ups, I’ve decided to throw in cycling (important, because I’m considering getting myself a motorcycle in a couple of years) and steering with a weight, to cool-down with, so that I can improve the muscles in my arm, when guiding a vehicle through turns.

Reflex tests are also going to be done. I’m just going to toss the ball against a wall, and catch it, and get myself moving again. I miss squash, the other sport I really enjoyed, but I don’t have an enclosed court to really practice in. It was my favourite for a long time, because of the reflexes, agility and speed in which it was played.

However …

This time, I’m not going to let cold-weather get in the way.

If it’s dark, I’m going to get out there.

If it’s cold, I’m going to get my reps in.

If it’s just a drizzle, I’m going to power through.

But if it’s a hailstorm, I’ll take it easy. I got a job and I can’t be taking days off, because I’m sick.

That’s counter-productive, because I might miss a few days, instead of taking a single day off.

Right now, I’ve also got to focus on my diet.

My eating habits are getting out of hand again. Too many sweets, too much snacking. I got to curb it back to normal levels.

Limit myself to small snacks a day, drink more water and watch the carb intake.

I know I can dedicate myself to a daily routine, because I’ve done it once before. I’ve rekindle the fire inside, to be “racer-ready” and really strip the fat from my body.

It’s time I’ve prioritised my need for speed, and take a good hard look at myself and really push hard for that magic number.

I am going to keep myself honest again, and keep making these Rundowns every week and monitor the situation.

Hopefully if I keep pushing myself, an hour to hour/half a day, my recovery will be a lot quicker.

It’s time to get off my arse, and start chasing something again.

I can’t hide behind depressing work conditions, COVID-19 lockdowns and other lame excuses.

None of those seriously impact on how I treat my own health.

So therefore, none of them are serious excuses for why I’ve slipped.

It’s not the mistake that really matter, but what you do to rectify it, that counts in the end.

I’m going to make up for my own personal mistake now.

Keep me honest, readers. Don’t let me slip again.

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

~ Damocles.