Welcome to the IMPACT series where I dissect notable and iconic sequences from games and movies, and how they broadened my mind and left a lasting impression on me, years to come. 

Being a friend is not about turning your back on somebody when they do something that you find deplorable or disgusting, your job as a friend is to make sure they don’t do it again. – Jon Bernthal

The Backdrop.

When it comes to male role models, I know what I really respect and admire about certain men. After all, I’ve been pooling an insane list of fictional characters from books I’ve read since I was a teenager. James Bond, Dirk Pitt, Daniel Ocean, Gabriel Allon … the list goes on and on. When it comes to living, breathing individuals though, I’m selective. Whenever I look them up on Wikipedia, the most important thing I scan, is their personal section and whether they stayed loyal to their spouse.

It’s a strange metric, but from that one look at their list or lack thereof of partners, I can instantly tell whether I garner a lot of respect or am more cautious about my admiration for them. Too many of them, I like for their on-screen persona, but don’t particularly agree with how they live their personal lives.

After all, you can’t be called a true gentleman if you leave a string of partners behind you. It’s a measure of who you are as a man, if you stay loyal to your beloved, and resist the urge to do something stupid. Having no divorces on your plate shows discipline, respect towards others and your partner and a moral commitment to something better.

Which is why I was impressed by Jon Bernthal initially. The man has consistently shown his love for his wife and that really showed when it came to the classic GQ 10 Things (BLANK) Can’t Live Without.

I’ll go into details about the video in the Impact section, but Jon is someone I admire deeply. His podcast, Real Ones with Jon Bernthal is an incredible shining light into how people should talk to each other and more importantly, into how men should approach problems. To anyone aspiring to be a traditional masculine figure, Jon’s podcast is a beacon of light, a true discussion and deep dive into what it is to be a man, in today world.

It’s also a powerful tool into what it takes to be a good person day in and day out, realising that some struggles are truly universal no matter where you are from and what you identify as. His honest, raw and unflinching conversations with all kinds of people is what makes his podcast an inspirational tool, rather than just an educational one.

I’m not one that really supports anything, but his podcast is one of the few things I support on Patreon. His access to all kinds of people all walks of life is truly incredible and I love how he is such an active listener and conversationalist. That simple act of his, leaning in and talking to the guest is so underrated.

Jon knows when to shut up, and when to talk. It’s a gift that is so rare in Hollywood, especially when you watch talk shows, which is why I only love watching clips of Graham Norton, because he is the one host who lets their guest talk through their story with no interruptions.

But enough introductions, let’s dive in why Jon and his podcast is so impactful to me.

The Impact.

Jon Bernthal first made an impact on me when I watched his GQ 10 Things Jon Bernthal Can’t Live Without on Youtube. I had seen him in a lot of media before; Punisher, Ford v Ferrari, Sicario, Baby Driver, The Accountant, Fury … and was always impressed in particular by his striking looks and his intensity. Jon is one masculine looking man but there is a depth to his masculinity that shows real inner emotional turmoil.

It was his scene in Daredevil Season 2 that really sold me on his acting ability. The conversation that the Punisher and Daredevil have on the rooftop is incredible and really showed Bernthal’s range as an actor. His mannerisms, his gruff voice, the way how he delivers his lines with conviction … it sold me on the Punisher so well, that I even loved the way how Bernthal roars as he is fighting in his scenes.

But his 10 Things He Can’t Live Without showed me that Jon as a man, outside of the roles he portrays, is a good person. Every single video I had watched over male celebrities before, was shallow. They showcased expensive watches, promoted tequila or other random alcohol, placed random products or food in their hands that were clearly disguised as ads or didn’t go into detail about the meaning behind what they chose.

Jon was different. Every single item of his had genuine meaning. His pitbull, the yellow legal pad, his personal diary, a picture of his wife, the worry beads that his friends got him, his massive bodyguard … these were all extremely personal and important items to Jon that made him the man that he is today. It showed true character to put those items out there and explain in depth what they meant to him.

And you could tell too, the way how he was holding them and looking at them, that they meant a lot to him. That was my first glimpse into a man who valued the simpler things in life, who treasured those around him way more than material items and really knew what he was about. He wasn’t here to shill for a product or promote anything except his genuine self.

This was a guy who was honest, real and down to earth. Who would still talk to you, even if he was busy and genuinely spend time with you if you needed help.

This was a good male role model. Yes, I thought Jon had a masculinity about him that I envied, yes I wish I had his strong jawline, but this type of jealousy was a good one. It was an aspiring one. I wanted to be more fit like Jon and emulate his approach to life. When I thought about the 10 Things I Can’t Live Without, I had his choices in mind. What were some things that I couldn’t live without?

I wanted to look at a photo of my partner, the same way he did about his wife. With nothing but love, admiration and a keen desire to be back next to her. His love confession about her when looking at his wife’s photo is incredible:

“This is the most important person in my life, that’s my hero and my best friend, and she just makes me the man I want to be. She is the strongest and wisest, bravest and most honourable person I’ve ever met. I’m so glad, that I’m in love even after all these years. She’s my everything, so this is more than essential, this is my everything right here.”

And I’ll confess …. I think I can say the same thing about my partner right now, when I look at my polaroid of her in my wallet, and I feel so damn blessed to be able to claim any percentage of that.

So, after watching the video, I started to become more of a fan. I started researching more of the projects he was doing and seeing what I could do to support a guy that I really came to respect and admire.

That search? Lead me to the podcast.

The Enrichment.

Real Ones with Jon Bernthal is unlike any podcast I’ve watched or listened to before. There is a niche that Jon is targeting and it’s all about unfiltered, honest conversations about people’s lives. He interviews first responders, military veterans, sport coaches, actors, inspirational pastors and community leaders … he is engaged in everyone’s story, everyone’s history and it shows in how he listens, how he responds and the respect he commands and gives in equal measure.

No matter people’s background, culture or ethnicity, Jon can seemingly connect with everyone from all walks of life. There is a simple theme to Jon’s podcast …. everyone’s story is worth telling, but it takes an interviewer like Jon to really draw it out of them. Everyone has a fascinating personal history, wrought with hard lessons, tough experiences and incredible perseverance. Whilst this theme is admirable and true, I think Jon’s skill at being an active listener and more importantly … having a personal connection with every single person he interviews, is critical.

It’s that personal touch, of friends meeting after a long time apart, of trading stories by a metaphorical fire about their past, their present and their dreams of the future that really what makes this podcast special. Jon’s friends are the ones in the spotlight, and despite his fame, Jon is humble enough to take a backseat to the conversation, because he wants his friends to outshine him in this talk.

To say that I was surprised to see all types of people on his podcast was an understatement. Reformed gangsters, ATF agents, bikers, doctors, actors, teachers, veterans starting up animal conservation projects … Jon has truly met a lot of interesting people in his life, and he is on a mission to showcase them all to the world, to project an image of America that is not often seen beyond the glitz and glamour of Hollywood.

When I watched an episode on a Port Authority police officer experience during 9/11, I was struck by how raw the entire conversation was. It wasn’t just the fact that Will Jimeno was at Ground Zero when the attack happened, but more the insight into his personal life. His whole life, he dreamed of being a police officer. He wanted to serve his community and was thankful for all the lessons he had learned growing up in a poor family and the hardships he had endured. This wasn’t just a guy who rushed in to help those during 9/11, this was a good man who just wanted to help.

And so to hear him, talk about how scared he was when he agreed to volunteer to enter the first building, and all the personal tragedies that had befallen him during and after 9/11, from his struggles with PTSD and how he lashed out at his family, to him taking accountability and learning to “man-up” to his struggles, it was just incredibly inspiring and motivating.

After all, I’ve never experienced something as traumatic as Will did, but his example of being a better man, one step at a time after the experience of 9/11 was something I aspired to. Because at the end of the day, I could relate to his struggle. Every man could. We all want to be better husbands, better fathers and better example of masculinity to those around us. And that is what makes Jon’s podcast so incredibly powerful.

Jon, through his friends and his own example, inspires men to be better. That is the purpose of the podcast, to show that you can be ultra-masculine, be into hunting, martial arts, cooking, or whatever, and still be strong enough to talk about your feelings, your failures and your fundamental beliefs.

And to listen to his podcast, is to be inspired by others. By ordinary Americans who are just trying to get by, get their voices heard and keep their heads above the water. Because these normal people are just like those here in Australia or anywhere else in the world. The day-to-day life is a struggle, but it doesn’t mean you let it beat you. You can always be better, always be hungry to learn and always have time to meet up with your friends.

Jon’s podcast reminds me of what is important and that is why almost every month, I host a BBQ at my home to welcome my friends over. Because, just like Jon, I need to put in the effort to catch up with my favourite people, so that the friendships remain strong. So that we can have conversations, deep or otherwise, about our lives, our struggles and our triumphs.

Friendships aren’t forever. You got to put the work in, like everything else and I’ve been so lucky that I recognised that early and started to put in some proper work to restore and maintain my friends.

Which brings me to the most famous episode, where Jon was interviewing Shia LaBeouf. This one was incredibly raw and interesting, because it came hot on the heels after Shia’s controversy.

I won’t say that much about the episode, except link it here, and state that it’s an incredible conversation about a man who is flawed and is trying to redeem himself to those around him and most importantly himself.

The Culmination.

Jon Bernthal is my favourite celebrity by a very long shot. He encapsulates everything that I want to be in a man. A humble, smart, curious man with a firm grasp on who he is, who he considers important and finds joy in the simple things. He has shown time and time again, in every interview I’ve watched with him, that he is a genuine person, a man who is honourable and does his absolute best to walk the walk. He knows what he is about, and that confidence is shown in every role he takes on, every friend he brings on his podcast and I know that his family and friends feel that too.

On a sillier note, I love that the very first thing he brings out on the GQ video, were his combat boots. It’s not an ad read either, because he truly does wear them everywhere he goes. You can see the iconic black combat boots in almost every episode of his podcast. That kind of devotion to something functional and comfortable is something that I relate to heavily. If I could wear my 5.11 Apex pants, my Under Armour Valsetz Boots and a comfortable Arcteryx Sirrus Henley for the rest of my life, I would.

They are my absolute go-to for whenever I want to do anything, be prepared for anything and I think they look good together, allowing me to be at my most confident, because I know I can tackle anything in these clothes.

However, to end this Impact post on a more serious note, I just wanted to thank Jon Bernthal for everything he has done so far. Seeing him pop up in iconic movies that I love, such as Ford vs Ferrari, the Accountant or Sicario has always been a delight to me, and I love supporting him in any way I can. I loved him as the Punisher and think he was absolutely perfectly cast as the character, with his gruff features and animalistic roar now an iconic part of the comic-book character.

But I also loved that he is involved in more intimate projects, such as Small Engine Repair (2021) that really sold me on his personal beliefs, convictions and work ethic as an actor and man. This was a small film, that meant a lot of Jon and I loved the way how he twists the character. There is always such a heart and rawness to his acting style that even people when they first saw him on The Walking Dead, knew that Jon had what it takes to vanish into characters.

Jon’s masculine features, big heart and inspirational way of living life is the kind of role model that I want my own son to look up to.

And that is not something I say lightly.

So, thank you Jon, for continuing to challenge the narrative about what real men can be and for inspiring me to be a better guy all around. Love your work and I will always go back to the podcast when I need a wake-up call about how life can challenge you and a lesson in how to get past that obstacle.

IMPACT.

~ Damocles