A Consul’s Record – 26-02-2024

FIT Lvls – BMI 28.1// 85kgs

The damn eyelid has been twitching like crazy this week.

Messina has become this inferno and I feel like I’ve become a fireman, desperately trying to beat back the flames. It’s unrelenting just how often things go wrong and I always feel like I’m being reactive instead of proactive.

In other words, the flames are licking at my feet and the damn hose I’m using it’s pumping out water fast enough.

It doesn’t help that for the first time in my life, I’ve truly felt my insecurities blossom up. They’re bubbling up so frequently that I’m wondering what the hell is going on. My confidence has waned and I’m not quite sure what is going on with me mentally. The past few weeks of struggle regarding my health hasn’t helped the quiet anxiety that has been etching away at the granite that was my confidence.

As I was talking to my partner about the struggles of work, it was then I realised the gravity of my situation.

An epiphany hit me like a truck.

It’s not like I wasn’t happy working full time, or in a hospitality field that included events … it was the fact that I knew, deep down, I had fallen into another rut.

For some reason, I seem cursed to constantly land jobs that cause me to rust away inside. They are dead-end jobs, jobs that don’t have clear ladders, futures or something over the horizon. They are jobs that expect me to be happy, knowing that my brain is not being stretched to its full capacity.

They are positions that will become routine and deathly boring. I can’t climb, I can’t exercise and I can’t think.

Just like the retail stint before. Or the menial hospitality jobs. Or the mind-numbing air-con factory work.

I

Hate

This

Feeling.

It’s what causes me to break mentally. I can sense it.

Whenever I come to this realisation about my job, an stark, clear image always burns itself onto my mind.

The picture of a medieval sword, rust all along its once shiny blade. The knight goes to draw, but the weapon becomes stuck in the scabbard and he is struck down, because the blade was ill-maintained.

And the picture terrifies me. I hate seeing it, because I can see my reflection along the blade. I have no desire to become a rusty sword, and suddenly I feel myself bucking around internally like a wild horse, eager to escape it’s stable.

There have been too many big revelations in the past few weeks. Things have gotten way too heavy and it’s time to shed some weight. I’ve come to term about my current health and am currently working hard to fix the diet and make more time to exercise. It doesn’t matter if I do my super-set/circuit twice a week. What matters is that I move, I do it often and I try to burn as much as possible.

It’s time to pick another day where I will always exercise. Currently, Mondays are the days I do my circuit training, but it’s time to add another day of the week and commit to it hard.

The other realisation that I’ve hit in this blog just now, is about the nature of my job. Yes, it’s shit. Yes, it’s unpredictable, chaotic, stress-inducing and all consuming.

But … that is the hand I’ve been dealt with. There is no point in bitching about it now.

Mentally, I’ve complained enough. It’s counter-intuitive, it’s counter-productive and it’s counter-revolutionary. I was bought in to shake up, redesign and establish myself in this job and I’ve failed to do so.

All because I kept getting hung up over the smallest of issues. That my life was being dictated by work and its event schedule.

It’s time for me to acknowledge that fact and learn to work around it. It doesn’t matter if its the morning, the afternoon, the evening or zero dark thirty … I’ve got to make the most of my day and that means getting away from the computer, more onto books, more into exercise and more into friends.

Sure it sucks, but if I want to be any semblance of the man I can be, I’ve got to embrace this suck. Things will start to look up, the moment I focus more on the things I can control and be OK with the things I can’t.

I’ve also got to discover if I truly have a future in Messina, whether they will actually let me grow or whether this is it.

If this is all there is to my life for the foreseeable future … I’m out. I refuse to settle for this, when I know deep down, my potential is yet to be fully unlocked.

But if there is something ahead for me in this company, then I shall ride out this wave and find myself on a beach that will promise me something greater than what I am doing now.

Until that happens though … I’ve got to put my head down, focus and stop making little mistakes that chip away at my credibility and my ego.

Rebuilding starts now and the moment I feel the urge to exercise, it’s time to pick up the plate carrier and go to work.

The sword of Damocles needs some restoration and that will only come with proper work and care.

Embrace the suck and remember …. ex nihilo nihil fit.

Nothing comes from nothing.

~ Damocles.

A Consul’s Record – 05-02-2024 // 12-02-2024

FIT Lvls – BMI 27.7 // 84kgs

Recently, stress is ruling my headspace and it’s highly concerning.

If I had to list all the issues causing me stress at the moment it would be in this order

  1. Finances
  2. Finances
  3. Finances
  4. Physical Health
  5. Work
  6. Diet
  7. Sleep

Out of all of them, you can see which one is causing me the most anxiety. Money, the root of all evil they claim. The paper that has plagued humanity since the 7th Century China. The reason why my physical health has taken a hit. The reason why I’ve seen the doctor twice now, booked myself in for a neurologist session, seen an optometrist and searched WebMD far too much.

Recently, I’ve begun to self diagnose myself with a lot of things. I can feel something creep into my mind like a virus. A brain-worm called fear. Fear of losing my partner due to my lack of finances. Fear of opening the bank app to see the debt that has accumulated and has consumed my life choices. Fear of being unable to make enough money to achieve my dreams. Fear of missing out on important occasions. Fear of being unable to buy the things I want. Fear of being unable to afford to eat properly.

Fear of the Australian Taxation Office.

As I’m sitting here, writing this, listening to the Batman soundtrack, Can’t Fight City Halloween, I’m reminded that even the Joker is afraid of the IRS. The ATO has reminded me that taxation is quite obviously one of the biggest contributors to my anxiety ever devised. The sum I owe is astronomical. It’s due within two months and has forced me to completely revamp the way I live my life.

I’m now splitting my weekly paycheck in half to ensure I try and get close to the total before the deadline and I thought I could get away with committing to a payment plan, but the ATO’s interest rate is absolutely criminal. So instead of committing to that flawed plan, I’m scrambling every dollar I have to clear this debt.

How my money has spiralled so far out of control is honestly, the final wake-up call for me to get my shit together. The new job has actually given me a massive 500 dollar pay cut and has created a mind worm that won’t shut up.

The call of work is persistently nagging away at my mind now. Where once, the beauty of work at Fed Square and Melbourne Showgrounds ended the moment I left the venue, now I am constantly bombarded with calls, texts and new updates that stresses me out. They don’t arrive during normal hours either. Sometimes they hit at 7am, 4pm, or once at 11pm. It’s all horrifically stress inducing.

Throw in constant new last minute changes, additions and cancellations and the unpredictability is disturbing.

Sometimes an event for Messina will appear with only 4 days to spare and it’s just shit dealing with it. I hate it when things randomly add an extra stress element that is unnecessary. I’ve become accustomed to preparing things well in advance so that the execution of the plan is smooth and flawless. When my manager gives me random additional stress, it places a huge strain on myself, my colleagues and throws a bad look on my professionalism.

I don’t look proactive, instead I’m reactive.

The exact opposite of what I thought this job was going to be. I thought, being full time at Messina, would herald a new chapter in my life.

Instead, it has stripped me of an additional 500 dollars, given me health issues, destroyed my physical fitness further, created more uncertainty, caused more friction in my relationship and cost me valuable time.

My roster is only ever known a week in advance.

This

Fucking.

Sucks.

I can’t plan my life in advance, nor can I actually put aside time to breathe and get some much needed mental breaks. Instead I’m constantly on edge, not sure what days I can see my girlfriend, what days I can put aside for exercise and what days I can hang out with friends.

Instead, now I’m cancelling more often, I’m arriving late to scheduled meetings and I lack a lot of willpower to get up in the morning or go to bed.

This week has pushed me to an important realisation.

I have to manage my time wisely and enforce rules. I can’t be slacking off on working out or being healthy.

Because I’m not the immortal twenty-something that I was of yester-years. Instead it takes me longer to lose weight and if I continue down the bad path of not sleeping well, not eating right, not maintaining a rigorous exercise regime, it will only get tougher for me in the later years.

I have to look after myself more. Sleep earlier. Eat simpler meals, because my body can’t process things as easily. Exercise more regularly and come to grips with the fact that … I’m older now.

It doesn’t mean I can’t be in good shape or anything stupidly defeatist but it does mean … I have to come to grips with the reality of being old.

After all, it was only two thousands years ago, that the average human life expectancy was approximately around my age.

Mortality is really the big theme I’m going for here. A reflection on my health and how my systems are not quite as durable as they once were. Stress hits me harder now. Exercising hurts more. Fat builds up quicker.

I need to course correct now.

Simple as that.

And that is why the little embarrassing BMI tracker is at the top …. it’s a brutal reminder to course correct.

Because if I can’t look after myself … I can’t look after others.

~ Damocles

A Consul’s Record – 29-01-2024

Lvls – BMI 28.1 // 85kgs

The past week has been one of unrivalled excess.

Too much food, too much dancing and too much cake. It has completely destroyed my weight loss over the past week, and I can feel myself getting hungrier instead of actually learning to lean down my diet.

This is obviously not good. But like any setbacks, it’s how you deal with it that matters the most and fortunately, even though my body has gained weight again, my motivation to lose it hasn’t lost any of its edge.

I still plan on exercising just as hard and really weaning down the amount of food I eat. This is just a minor setback and I know I will lose it again soon.

But to really discuss what happened last week, it was fun. The wedding, held by one of my long time friends, was a beautiful moment, even though I felt sad that I couldn’t attend the entire thing, because I had work earlier that day.

However, the reception itself was amazing. It was clearly an expensive venue with plenty of space for dancing, custom floors, a beautiful white theme that was accentuated by huge centrepieces and candles. My friend and her husband clearly spent a lot of time and thought into the decor and it was indeed a beautiful moment in time. The music was fun, the food was amazing even though it was definitely too much and overall I had a really good time, chatting with my friends and my partner.

Speaking of my partner, she looked amazing in her dress and style. It was such a new thing to see her in curls properly, by my side and literally looking like my better half. I thought we looked really good together and from what I could tell from the general looks coming our way, it seemed like I wasn’t too far off in thinking that.

Nothing makes me happier to be honest. I love her so much and it’s still a beautiful thing to see that our chemistry is so strong that people can sense it from afar.

I’m still really deeply in love with her and I don’t think that will ever change. If anything, the wedding we attended that night proved to me that I really want to create the same magic with her again in the future.

In other news, I also visited the doctor for a series of frequent headaches that I’ve been slammed with recently. It’s been a long battle for about 6 weeks, constantly trying to relax and calm myself down. Apparently the cause is due to too much tension in my head and I’ve been actively working to relax my muscles so that it calms down.

It’s been an annoying thorn in my side, but thankfully a few days ago, I finally got the headaches to calm down, without any medication needed. By relaxing my neck muscles and allowing the blood flow to course through without too much speed, it actually helps me avoid the headaches.

Which is a huge relief, because for the past month, these headaches have been a massive concern and I was petrified I was developing something more serious.

But so far, it’s looking OK and I plan on revisiting the doctors in about 2 weeks to make sure everything is still OK.

Whilst last week has been a hectic rollercoaster, it’s time to get back into a routine and really start working on my goals again.

It’s time to reset.

Redo.

Routine.

~ Damocles.

A Consul’s Record – 22-01-2024

FIT Lvls – BMI 27.7 // 84kgs

The dieting mindset is starting to kick in and exercise is now following suit.

I know I am in a good place mentally when I feel like my day is incomplete without some form of exercise. Whether it is skipping, push-ups, kettlebells or just a run, I’m starting to zone in on my fitness. There is an inherent primal satisfaction when I look down at how much I’ve managed to push myself.

But the more crucial thing here is … habit building.

Just like I promised myself and my partner at the beginning of the year, 2024 is all about establishing positive routines, habits and rituals that will aid in my mental acumen and physical growth. Writing this Consul’s Record every week is a good habit to ensure I get to reflect on what has happened and what lessons I need to remember. It also allows me to write more, a habit I need to keep until I am no longer able to type and just remind myself how fun it is to actually engage in something creative.

Even if it is just writing down my thoughts.

Last week, work was very manageable. I got a new co-worker who will ensure my life is easier as the manager of events for Gelato Messina. He is from Europe, a well-travelled Muslim man and soon to be husband. So far, he and I get along just great and I’m very relieved to know that he has a solid head and that he and I have similar views to work … get it done, fast and efficiently and call it there. Don’t be lazy, don’t be slow, just do everything as quickly as possible, ensure everything gets done, stay until the bell, but if there is nothing to do … play truant.

Event work can be the biggest hack, if you are a screwed on operator and I’m very thankful my new colleague is one of those kind of workers.

My manager has also arrived back and it’s fun to see her actually get excited. I could sense her burn-out near the end of the year, but it seems a long holiday in Europe, with her friends and peers, has managed to revitalise her. All in all, work seems to look really positive, with new and old colleagues actually smiling at work, my wishlist of equipment being largely fulfilled and I’ve really done my best to integrate into the existing structure seamlessly.

Aside from work, my health is looking better. I’m not sure where I lost two kilograms, but my conscientious decision to cut back on the amount of food and a more structured weekly exercise regime is clearly paying off. I really like knowing that I can lose weight and that positive feedback is now fuelling my desire to lose even more. It’s like an addicting, exciting game and I’m really keen to see myself at my target of 74kgs within a few months.

Yes, it is boring eating the same food almost every time, but it is immensely assisting me with my finances and diet, and like I’ve always told myself … everything comes at a cost and if looking and feeling good is the end product of boring lunches and restrictive dinners, so be it. I’m in my 30s now … taking care of myself is critical for how I will face my 40s and beyond.

Speaking of health, I’ve had a strange revelation recently, from one of my partner’s friends. It served as a wake-up call and a reminder that I need to prioritise my friends and family more. The timing of it too, was so strange, as I had just finished listening to the Shawn Ryan Show’s podcast episode, featuring Christian Craighead, the 22nd SAS trooper of Obi-Wan Nairobi fame, in which he detailed a similar revelation about life, how people move through it and the importance of always ending every conversation on a positive tone.

It was a sobering reminder, and I instantly reverted to cold, morbid humour to cope. It’s always interesting seeing how I react to such news and I am always shocked at my automatic decision to resort to dark humour. Whether it’s my upbringing where I was typically exposed to stiff British upper-lip attitudes in my media (Blackadder, Fawlty Towers, Monty Python etc) or the fact that I was probably too immersed in trying to be a cynical detective out of a Raymond Chandler noir book/film, I noticed that this attitude to dark news, is ingrained in me now.

However, moving past that dark observation about myself, when I heard the news, I’m just reminded of how much stuff I want to achieve.

And that motivation is still going strong even now.

Last week was definitely a motivational one. A push to do better, to be stronger, tougher, fitter, smarter and more financially well off.

It’s been a good start to the year so far, and I want to keep that direction going.

Ain’t no quitting now.

~ Damocles.

A Consul’s Record – 08-01-2024

FIT Lvls – BMI 28.4 // 86kgs

One week into the new year and I’m sick with COVID.

Luckily it’s a very mild case and I’m barely showing any symptoms beyond a slight fever and a very sore throat. But even in that instance, the coughing fits have been mild and I’m not bed ridden like I was a few years ago, when I got it properly.

Perhaps the most annoying aspect is the fact that I’ve been cooped up in my room for the past 3 days and it’s definitely not a very enjoyable sick holiday off from work. With very little fresh air, room to exercise … I look forwards to the fleeting moments where I am allowed to shower and home cook.

Home cooking … that is something I’ve missed a lot. A subtle resolution this year is to expand on the dishes I feel comfortable making, and I really had the opportunity to do that this week.

I even snuck out to do some grocery shopping, and bought home some key essentials to really have fun in the kitchen.

There are so many things I know I would change or have on standby every single week when I finally move out. Things like chopped garlic, bigger chopping boards, bigger kitchen benches, certain oils in the pantry … they only come when you spend a lot of time in the kitchen and really find out what you dislike and like doing on the regular.

So many recipes I’ve made, whether they be Italian, Japanese or Chinese, need an almost mythical amount of garlic. In many ways, I would love a small vegetable patch in my future home, where I can grow these essentials out the back whenever I need them.

Not only is it fresh, it’s also more sustainable and economically more feasible and will instil a greater appreciation for the ingredients I use.

In a lot of ways, home cooking reminds me of an exciting learning environment. You get to experiment, understand basic rules, discover new flavours and feel pride when you make something extremely edible. It’s such a fun journey to embark on once you start and the sense of accomplishment when you finish at the end is always amazing and sometimes very bittersweet.

But beyond expanding my repertoire of recipes (I’ve made pesto for the first time, drunken noodles and experimented with new techniques for fried rice), this quarantine has given me a bit of time to write at home which is also very nice.

I do miss days like this, where I had all day to really fulfill all my lazy desires, but I don’t want them to come often. It feels like I haven’t worked hard enough to earn this random respite and I really want to get back into things properly, so that I have good habits and routines.

This is an abnormality and needs to be treated as such.

So, in spite of catching COVID, there have been no significant developments this week. A lot more work needs to be done in my new role and I’m looking forwards to establishing a proper rhythm soon, so that I can focus more on other things like my hobbies, my partner and my writing.

I want to draft a film noir script this year and once work has settled properly, I think I’ll have time to start it.

Let’s see how next week fare.

~ Damocles.

A Consul’s Record – 01-01-2024

FIT Lvls – BMI 28.4 // 86kgs

It’s a new year, so it’s time to turn up a new gear.

Let’s start by listing some classic New Year Resolutions for 2024.

  1. Lose some weight. The happy weight is no longer an adorable feature. It is now a genuine problem. Aesthetically anyway.
  2. Start integrating my partner more into my wider circle of friends
  3. Maintain a disciplined financial plan
  4. Start reconnecting with friends and actually plan out proper days
  5. Continue to balance work and life

It all sounds pretty basic, but as I noticed a long time ago when studying Special Forces operators, the secret to success lies with discipline and mastery of the basics.

The key difference between a regular U.S. Army grunt and a U.S. Army Ranger, is distilled down to a single fact …. the Ranger has the basics of infantry warfare nailed down to a capital I.

2024 is the year where I start looking at the Dragon that rules the year and praying to her to really put some long-lasting, healthy habits and routines that will do me good in the future. The theme and key word of the year is discipline and whilst it may sound corny, there is a hell of lot personal motivation for me to stick to that.

Because I no longer have any excuses. I can no longer blame work, nor my circumstances. It’s time to get off my arse and actually put in some work.

Working out once a day for an hour is not a big ask. Nor is dieting. Controlling what I eat is 70% of the fight when it comes to addressing the first resolution. Stick to small meals, drink more water and just cut out the damn snacks. Three simple steps that are difficult to follow in the foodie heaven that is Melbourne but still that is the point of the game. Stick to the rules, ignore the temptations and get out of the traps I’ve laid myself into.

The next resolution is an evolution of my relationship. My partner and I have very different friend circles, with various personalities and stages of their lives. That is just the reality of having met each other in very different circumstances and with no prior contact at all.

But there is a reason why our bond is so strong, and it is because we have such similar personalities, outlooks and drives. So it makes sense that our friends would appreciate the other for the same qualities. Our goal is to have a “friendmas” at the end of the year and not have it be awkward. In addition to that, just being able to go on more dates where we have our friends, instead of just us, is a definite positive. It opens up more activities and better memories.

Finance. My Achilles heel. I’m a spender not a saver. But they say clarity is something you get when you can, not when it is convenient, and since I am so much older and with bigger dreams than my short-term fun, it is time to put money aside every single time I am getting paid. A goal that I have started very late last year in 2023, but 2024 will prove whether I truly have what it takes to be a disciplined human being.

Curbing the reckless expenditure, coming to terms with missing out on some truly special collectibles from Lego and not buying random clothes whenever I feel the urge to get something new are all key restraints that need to be addressed in 2024. It’s a mental game, just like so many other things, and part of being strong is to understand I do not need everything I see in the world.

I need to understand the value of items better and that value is weighed by emotion and monetary cost.

Another key problem I identified last year was my lack of engagement with my friends. Whilst I can bitch, whinge and moan about how hectic my life is, the simple matter of the fact is … I got lazy and started to neglect them. It’s time to change that and actually put some effort and time in going out, spending time with my friends and actually catching up with their lives. After all, I’m nothing without my friends and it’s crucial that I don’t lose them, because … I got lazy.

What a stupid excuse.

Time to step it up.

The final resolution is probably the longest and oldest problem in the world. Balance your partner, work, hobbies, self-care and friends.

To be honest, it’s about separating days in a week and really planning them ahead, on a molecular level. Split them apart into an hourly basis and start prioritising elements that can combine both or the more crucial element. Which means my calendar management needs to be on-fucking-point.

It’s time to put aside some time in the week to plan my week ahead and reach out to my friends, my partner and my work to see what I can do to balance everything.

Whilst I’ve made a lot of logical and sensible plans for all these resolutions, talk is cheap. Action means a lot more and this weekly reflection is a means for me to actually track my progress.

I’ll be adding a simple fitness check on the top of the post now, to really pressure me into disciplining myself.

It’s time to awaken the sleeping dragon and really instil some discipline into my life.

This is now the start of my D24 challenge. The Damocles 24 challenge.

Let’s go.

~ Damocles.

Napoleon (2023) – Cinema Review

Y/N? No

Director: Ridley Scott

Stars: Joaquin Phoenix & Vanessa Kirby

Review by Damocles

Squandered potential … like most of Ridley’s films.

Before I get really stuck into this review, I’ll address my personal bias against Ridley Scott. Personally I do not like a lot of his filmography. Too many of them suffer from the same fatal flaws …. action scenes that are cut a million times and do not properly portray combat in a clear, visual manner, terribly paced plots that often drag scenes on for too long, stories that are rife with historical inaccuracies and perhaps most annoyingly of all, Ridley loves to insert very unnuanced political views into historical eras without really considering the context of the times.

I must also add that I am a huge fan of the Napoleonic era. It is my favourite period of human history and to say I have huge admiration for the man whose era it is named after, is an understatement. Every student of history has a megalomaniac that they admire and my choice is the Corsican who built an empire that has touched the lives of every single person in 18th century Europe ever since he proclaimed himself Emperor of France.

When I first watched the trailer, I could not think of a better casted man to portray the man. Joaquin Phoenix is completely believable as Napoleon. But my heart sank the moment the trailer started to cast the man in strong words: Emperor, Lover, Tyrant, Legend.

Out of all the words, associated with the myth and historical facts about the man, “lover” is not one I would have chosen. Tyrant is also a questionable choice, especially considering the political landscape of Europe at the time, where literal Russians and Austrians emperors ruled with absolute power and Napoleon was just one of many kings, emperors and princes fighting to consolidate control over Europe.

Then I saw the dreaded words that Ridley Scott would be directing the film and I basically wrote off the film.

Walking into the cinema, I expected something bad.

I got something worse.

Squandered opportunity.

To say that the British have always long hated and character assassinated the man who transformed Europe, is an understatement. Even during the Napoleonic era, they were propagating propaganda about the man, deriding his short stature (he was actually of average height for the time), his many affairs (Josephine was hardly the focus of Napoleon’s many romantic conquests) and his many eccentricities (not wrong there).

None of which I blame the British for. After all, they were mortal enemies locked in different spheres of war. Britain ruled the seas, but could never quite best Napoleon on land. The elephant and the whale locked in combat.

But my problem with the film, is that it was very clear that Ridley had a lot of British bias walking in. Both he and the writer of the film, chose to portray Napoleon in a very bizarre light.

They focus almost 80% of the runtime on Napoleon’s romance with Josephine.

When you have an era of history as epic as the Napoleonic era; the last real historical use of mass cavalry charges, the sole period of history where both guns and swords were used in equal measure, where men had to walk in orderly lines in the face of musket and cannon fire, and the romantic notion of officers leading men into battle were still prioritised … Ridley chose to focus all the film’s attention to a romance that is historically inaccurate and worse of all …. boring.

Audiences were promised gunpowder, muskets, cannons, horses, swords and old school European chivalric officers.

They got a love story between a chemistry-free Joaquin and Vanessa.

It is one of the most bizarre choices I have ever seen made about a historical figure as mythical as Napoleon. Beyond that it is a very strange choice for a filmmaker. To focus so much on Josephine, who is not a very well known in history beyond her obsession with roses, and patronage of the arts, is an exceedingly weird choice for a film with such a short and tight run-time to cram in so many important events.

It is not like the two leads have a simmering allure to them either. If anything, the two actors are attempting their best to showcase a romance, but it is so flat and dull and it goes on for so long that when the action scenes do come, it is like a breath of fresh air to get away from such a sluggish story. Perhaps my biggest issue is the fact that Ridley construes the entire film, and key events around the romance.

There is literally not a scene that goes by, without Napoleon professing his love for Josephine, but as a narrative theme, it lacks panache that really dives into his psyche and why he wants to control so much of Europe and establish an empire. It is not like the film specifically attributes so much of Napoleon’s conquest and victories to the desires of Josephine. The reason why the romance fails, is because Josephine is not a Lady Macbeth, pushing and urging Napoleon to conquer more and more. Without that somewhat unique angle, the romance and the overall thematic arch of the film falls.

What would have been a better angle is the idea that Napoleon truly believes in his own self-worth and is unflinching, stubborn and set in his ways to the whims of the world around him. After all, this is a man who proclaims to walk in the footsteps of Alexander, Caesar and Charlemagne. To see him win countless battles against insurmountable odds, and witness his ego grow and grow, only to finally have it checked by a Russian winter, a disastrous Spanish campaign and the exile would have been an excellent theme for the film.

The film should have charted the course of a young Napoleon, whose early ambition, military genius and rise to emperorship grant him an unbearable confidence and ego. Then in the second half of the film, showcase his military blunders, how being the Emperor of a vast empire beset by enemies takes a toll on his mental state and how his eventual exile ruins his ego.

And perhaps as a neat way to truly showcase Napoleon’s drive and ambition, the third act should have showcased how Bonaparte builds himself up again whilst in exile, creating an unshakeable belief in his ability, that culminates in him returning to France. This would lead to him taking over the country without a single shot, be shocked by just how dire straits France is in, and realise his return was a mistake, a mistake that is nailed finally by his defeat at Waterloo.

Such a turbulent emotional and mental journey into Napoleon’s psyche would have been much more compelling viewing, and display how his generals were brilliant aides to his genius, as well as showcasing why France and her Grande Armee, was so eager to follow Napoleon into the jaws of death.

Instead of this in-depth look into Napoleon, Ridley instead gave audiences a film that skims over history, focuses on an unromantic love story, doesn’t establish the titular character well and shortcuts its way through battle scenes. Napoleon by Ridley main problem is prevalent in many of his later works recently …. the films feel lazy. Like Ridley stole some of the best ideas but was too lazy to put in any real work, much like a much-derided video game company known as Ubisoft.

No scene sums it up better, than condensing Napoleon’s entire Egyptian campaign to a scene where Napoleon supposedly shoots a cannon at the Pyramids. WHICH NEVER BLOODY HAPPENED.

Ridley entirely skips over the fact that Napoleon lost a huge portion of the French Navy in the disastrous Battle of the Nile, that the Egyptians revolted against Napoleon’s rule and that he was stranded in Egypt with no way to get home for months.

In fact, I read that in an interview with The Times, Ridley defended his depiction of the attack on the pyramids as being “a fast way of saying Napoleon took Egypt” which infuriates me, because he is rewriting history for many of the audience out there, and that is an extremely dangerous action to take in a world so full of misinformation.

Plot aside, Ridley’s vision of Napoleon is undeniably attractive. The visuals of the film are remarkably immersive. There is incredibly strong work by Dariusz Wolsiki. So many scenes invoke a more romantic time of grand warfare, with uniforms glistening bright and the tricolour of France flying high above the heads of her men.

From a visual standpoint alone, the film is beautifully shot, the CGI barely noticeable and the overall viewing experience is excellent. So many scenes immerse you in the past, giving the audience an evocative look into the past. But the actions scenes themselves are horribly cut. They fare OK, right up the two armies clash into each other. Then it becomes a brutal mess, without any nod to how Napoleon actually won the famous battles he was involved in.

In addition, the film is remarkably absent of any tension when it comes to the action, because it never sets up the stakes, the key generals involved and how the terrain is established. Napoleon and his many generals are never acknowledged for their tactical and military genius, how they bested 4 huge European armies that had to band together to defeat France’s Grande Armee.

Aside from the cinematography, I also liked the score somewhat. Whilst lacking originality, it did a good job in staying true to the times and punching above its weight when it came to certain “epic” moments. In particular, I loved Napoleon’s piano theme and thought it really captured the era and personality of the Emperor.

Overall, Ridley Scott’s vision of Napoleon, is visually appealing, but lacks any of the drive, ambition, charisma or romance that the titular character is known for. It is such a shame the film turned out the way it did, because the cast, uniform and period setting would have made for an epic film that would have restored a lot of interest in the era of history. In all honestly, I truly wished this film was handled by a different director and writer with more respect given to the legendary French emperor.

To sum it up in a sentence? Ridley, please stop taking the best ideas and giving us lazy executions of them.

A scene to recall:  When Napoleon takes Toulon. It is both incredible and maddening, because it gives me hope the film can be epic, only to instantly let me down when the action scene is cut barbarically short.

A Consul’s Record – 18-12-2023

Christmas is upon us …. and I’m finally stabilising things at work.

It’s probably the best Christmas gift I could have given myself, given how absolutely chaotic everything has been at work for the past 3 months.

After struggling for two months, dealing with chaotic schedules, holidays, finances, and just the overall stress of adapting to a new job, I’m finally in a good place. I’ve made my demands clear on how I want to tackle my new full time job, how I want to free up more time for my personal life and just overall work on ironing out huge issues with scheduling and time management.

To their credit, Messina has agreed to a lot of my demands and are currently working on ensuring that my start to 2024 is as smooth as possible. I’m working more normal hours, tackling more responsibilities and will be doing less grunt work.

All of which is music to my ears. It means I can spend more time with my partner, friends and hobbies. I can also give Fed Square more availabilities, and just focus on my personal health which has been taking the longest hiatus for 2 years now.

Stability breeds discipline and I cannot wait to get myself in a more disciplined state of mind going into 2024. I want everything to be more orderly and less chaotic, because by being in more control of my work hours, I can then devote time to my fitness, hobbies and partner. It also means that my finances should start to stabilise and that is the whole point of working full time.

No more different amounts of money coming every week, no more weird hours (except on rare occasions), more time dedicated to stuff I want to work on …. there is simply no cons to this.

And I want it to work out very badly.

But even though I have all these hopes and dreams for 2024, I know that I got to put in consistent effort and work to ensure that my precious stability stays stable. All this effort did not come easy. I had to be honest, brutal and critical with my feedback, whilst making sure that I was understanding about how chaotic the event industry is, in general.

In a lot of ways, the past two months have created so many opportunities where I learned a lot about myself, how my partner is so incredible supportive and patient despite the hardships and how I need to be firm yet professional about how I go about things.

I’m excited for 2024, simply because I finally landed a full time job and it is starting to pay off. My hours should start to regulate and with that ….. my whole life will finally experience some proper discipline.

I cannot wait.

Aotearoa

Mt. Ruapehu

New Zealand is now officially the second country I’ve travelled to overseas and in many ways, it is so similar to home, but also highly different.

I spent 10 days in a country that is famed for its incredible scenery and by the tenth day there was no doubt in my mind that New Zealand is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen. No matter what angle, road, or view you see the country, it will take your breath away.

The sheer amount of green is astonishing. It rolls for hills and mountains as far as the eye can see, and I personally think that road tripping in NZ is an underrated experience. There is no better way to experience the sheer greenery and lush vegetation NZ is famous for, than epic road trips across the islands.

My partner and I chose to visit the North Island, considering she had already experienced the South Island and in a lot of ways, the more tourist-trap nature of Queenstown and Christchurch made me want to avoid it anyway.

Not that the North Island was any less stunning or tourist friendly. Because it still blew my breath away wherever I drove, whether it was through the Tongariro National Park, the suburbs of Auckland or through smaller towns like Hamilton.

The North Island was stacked with things to do, drive around and experiences. So without further ado, I shall dive into each of my most memorable moments on my holiday with my partner as well as give general opinions on architecture, food and the overall vibes we experienced.

NZ Atmosphere

The New Zealand atmosphere is a lot like my home country of Australia with one exception …. it’s even more relaxed. Roads crawl around at 50km/h, a far cry from the 60km/h I am used to at home. People walk slower when crossing the streets. Hell, even the iconic accent makes people seem more relaxed and chill.

In many ways, NZ really proves itself as the idyllic place to retire. The scenery, air, lifestyle and overall pace suits people who want to slow down and actually enjoy smelling the roses. At the ripe age of 30, I’m nowhere near that level of sedentary action. If anything, I found myself frequently breaking the road rules, consistently travelling at 60km/h in a 50 zone and deliberating and regularly, pushing my car to 150km/h in a 110km/h country road. It got to the point where I even maxed out my car at 170km/h but had to slow down for a truck in front of me.

Driving though, was the name of the game for the trip. There were very little public transport options, but in a place where number plates have yet to switch up their 3 letters/3 numbers combinations (it is still ABC 123 vs the Australian A0B 1C3), the road population was so small and relaxed that getting around was no issue at all.

Even the way how the New Zealanders treat each other is beautifully courteous and friendly. The amount of times where incoming cars flashed their high-beams at me to warn me of police cars up ahead was too numerous to count. It’s clear, especially in the regional roads, everyone speeds, but do their best to look after one another and not get busted by the highway patrol.

A big moment that stood out to me was when I was driving behind one of NZ’s iconic “traffic cones” trucks and the driver, knowing I was the faster car, checked the road in front of him, then waved me on, to overtake. It was a sweet gesture that I thumbed up, and he returned the motion. These little interactions with the local Maori people proved to me just how friendly, warm, and relaxed they are, no matter the occasion.

The only thing that really soured the road trip element was just the sheer amount of road works that were happening everywhere. I suppose it only makes sense, considering the fact that NZ lies on a major fault line in the earth’s crust, and hence roads need constant maintenance to fight against the detrimental effects of earthquakes, but it was still annoying nevertheless having to slow down so much.

Overall though, NZ is a stunning, beautiful location that gives other famous mountainous regions like the Swiss Alps and Japan a run for its money. It is so gorgeous that it looks fake. There were so many moments where I had to stop the car and just take a photo and the number of selfies my partner and I took at so many scenic landscapes are obscene. From our stop in Huka Falls which is a breathtaking view of fast moving water, to the top of Skyline Rotorua, New Zealand had some many gorgeous water features that it consistently took my breath away.

I cannot recommend visiting this country enough. It’s like Australia but greener, more relaxed and just as friendly. The people were just great, and I still laugh at my partner’s reaction to hearing the iconic Kiwi accent over an automated “Countdown” register (Woolworths to us Aussies).

NZ Architecture

If there is one thing I love doing when visiting another country, is checking out unique architecture. I don’t know when I became fixated on unique buildings and their styles, but it’s been a slow, but growing passion of mine to see and admire them whenever I can.

Unlike a lot of people, I tend to revolt against modern designs. I’m progressive in a lot of my views when it comes to politics, but regressive when it comes to art. I prefer looking at things that evoke some type of classicism.

And I was in for a treat in New Zealand.

Architecturally, New Zealand has a lot of old world charm. Unlike Melbourne, which is constantly updating itself with new designs that evoke the year we live in, New Zealand is decidedly against a lot of modern aesthetics. So many buildings in NZ are examples of bygone eras. From art deco, to more brutalist architecture, NZ’s cities have a very unique, and simple style to them that I really like, especially since I come from a city where everything is always so polished, new and sometimes very bizarre.

Of the two cities, it was Auckland that really stuck out to me as the most interesting. Wellington in a lot of ways, reminds me of Australia’s tiny island capital, Hobart. They are both coastal cities, facing out the open water, built into the side of mountains and possess similar, old, battered buildings that are more functional than aesthetically pleasing. The buildings are very plain, and short, without much height or differentiating features.

In short, Wellington is a small port city with no real distinctive flair.

Auckland on the other hand, had a lot more diverse architectural styles within its borders. Beyond the obvious Sky Tower, there was also the incredible Domain Wintergarden which looked amazing as it resembled the neoclassical style that was so popular during the World’s Columbian Exposition (Chicago’s World Fair), an architectural movement that I have been obsessed with since I saw images of the fair held in 1893.

With its Greco-Roman inspired marble statues, large central fountain and courtyard combination and beautifully rounded domed roofs and crystal clear glass structure, the Domain Wintergarden was a brief portal for me. It transported me into a time when the world was a bit more exciting, because of all the things we didn’t know. A time where you had to visit these fairs to see what the outside world held. The flowers that were on display in the Wintergarden was amazing, as was the incredible Fernery nearby that had this brilliant support roof that allowed ferns and vines to grow all over it. It was so lush, green and dense that it was like stepping into a forest, except in the middle of a bustling urban environment.

Other notable buildings included the very odd, very traditional Chinese pagoda style building known as Choice Plaza. Red, green and so very Chinese, it immediately surprised me, because such buildings were rare to see, but it made all the more sense, for being in the very Asian oriented street of Auckland.

In fact a lot of Auckland’s architecture had this old school vibe to it. Certain buildings were fully Gothic in their facade, others like the Guardian were “Stripped Classical” with their faded dark colours, antique clocks overhanging the streets and so many others looked like they were built in the 90s and never progressed beyond their yellowing old tiles, dated columns and 80s rooftops.

The prime example of course being the highly bizarre and supremely ugly Sky World Indoor Entertainment, with its strange mix of old and new clashing together in an ad-hoc fashion. The front of Sky World with its brown marble and glass curved exterior that has a strange crown up top is meshed into a 90s style glass building that is devoid of any real personality. Its bizarre, its weird, its ugly and when I walked past it, in late 2023, it was for sale and in dire need of refurbishment. Not a good look for what is supposed to the main public square of Auckland.

In a lot of ways, it reminds me of my own work place at Federation Square. I don’t know what designers were thinking back then, but honestly, I really wished they scaled back the outlandish ideas to make public square eyesores.

Overall, the architecture in the North Island is very similar to Australia. A mix of ultra modern buildings that grow over the mess of old decaying 90s malls and wide pedestrian streets that are beautifully lined with tall green trees.

It felt like home and overall I would argue that Auckland is much more reminiscent of Sydney than Melbourne. Sydney has a lot of similar styles that can be seen in Auckland and I think they are much closer to sister cities. Melbourne, for all her beauty, is a newer city than loves to destroy old remnants than sully her overall modern theme.

I’m happy to see that Auckland does nothing of the sort and remains as eclectic as it first started.

NZ Food

Food in NZ is more Americanised than I realised. But I say that with a biased lens as a guy who has grown up in Melbourne food culture. The servings are a bit bigger, the food doesn’t quite hit my palette as hard as it does at home, and overall, it wasn’t anything to really write home about.

I never really got to try what authentic kiwi food really is, as we mostly ate road-trip food and found random Asian spots. What I did notice though was the sheer number of fast food options that NZ has. Taco Bell, KFC, McDonalds, Burger King, Wendys … the chains were everywhere. It was no small wonder that local restaurants weren’t pushed to exceed, because these options dominated so much of the local market.

All in all, I didn’t find many restaurants that were worthy to write home about in NZ, with the exception of 2 places. An Italian place in Wellington called Scopa, and a Vietnamese place in Rotorua called Saigon ’60s. The Vietnamese place was a surprising stop, because the food was actually OK.

I’ve made it a morbid habit to visit at least one Vietnamese restaurant whenever I travel somewhere foreign, and in this case, it wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever had. It definitely toned down the Vietnamese flavours like lemongrass and fish sauce though, but I suspect it’s a way of mollifying the cuisine to a very Western area of NZ.

Scopa was another spontaneous decision. My partner and I had just finished eating at an Argentinian steak place and weren’t too impressed with the quality of the food or the decor. We needed something to cheer us up, after spending a decent amount of money. On a whim, I saw Scopa, and intrigued by the clear Italo-disco 70s aesthetic of the restaurant, I dragged my partner in for our favourite dessert, tiramisu.

Now, having tasted Melbourne’s greatest tiramisu at Grossi, I can honestly say that Scopa’s tiramisu is the closest I’ve ever had that comes to the greatness of Grossi and that is one of the greatest compliments I can give.

Finally, I have to discuss Wendy’s. The iconic redhead burger chain was everywhere in NZ and I’ve always been so curious about American fast food in general. To my astonishment, it was actually pretty good. The burgers tasted fresh, the chips were the perfect blend of thick cut and salty and the only complaint I had was that the “medium” size for the drinks were absolutely enormous. They could have definitely downsized the drink, but some things are too American to be tamed. My partner and I ended up visiting Wendy’s more than we originally thought, mostly because of the road trip nature of our holiday.

Hamilton Gardens

Hamilton Gardens was one of the biggest highlights of the trip for me. For those who are unaware, my father is big on gardening. Whilst that passion has not really caught on with me (I much prefer my books and firearms), there is an undeniable element inside of me that appreciates excellent horticulture and landscaping work because of how hard my father worked on the family home’s front and back yard.

And let me just say that Hamilton Gardens has one of the most incredible and original ideas for their vision of what a landscaping tourist attraction should be.

Instead of just one singular theme, like the Royal Botanical Gardens here in Melbourne, Hamilton chose to do multiple themes, giving visitors glimpses into the past and around the world.

Tudor. Ancient Egyptian. Surrealist. Modernist. Italian Renaissance. Indian Char Bagh. Chinese Scholar. Japanese Zen. English Flowers. Herb Garden … the list goes on. There is so much to explore, admire and soak in. In a lot of ways, it’s an incredibly immersive portal into the past and I found myself stunned by the sheer effort the staff put in.

For example, with the Ancient Egyptian Garden, there are actual walls with hieroglyphics that are faded on the outside, but the moment you step in, you are awash with colour. For the Tudor Garden, they actually had the small parapet of a medieval structure in the corner and the iconic striped ribbon poles adorned across the Garden. For the Italian Renaissance section, I laughed out loud when I saw the legendary female wolf statue that nursed Romulus and Remus, the Capitoline Wolf.

As a massive history nerd, I was truly in love with the Gardens. It was a time machine that really allowed me to catch an glimpse into the past that I always wanted to explore.

If you had to guess which Garden was my favourite? It’s a close tie between the Italian Renaissance and the Ancient Egyptian. I love both time periods and it made me sad that such ancient beauty isn’t as commonplace anymore.

The Lord of the Rings

Along with Star Wars, Star Trek and countless other random nerdy pop culture franchises, LOTR was one of the biggest formative cinematic experiences of my childhood. Described by my father as one of the greatest trilogies he has ever seen, LOTR exposed me to the world of fantasy and how incredibly fascinating it was to read about wizards, hobbits, elves and Uruk-hai.

Whilst I am certainly no LOTR expert, I knew what I saw on screen looked cool. Middle Earth is equally brutal as it is beautiful and New Zealand perfectly encapsulates that. Knowing that I was going to NZ meant that I had to at least indulge a little bit, in my nerdy passion for LOTR.

This meant a trip to Hobbiton and the Weta workshop in Wellington.

Weta was an amazing time, seeing all the cool props that have populated so many of my favourite movies. But what made it incredible, was the amount of knowledge that was dropped during the tour. There were so many fascinating, cool, realistic and scary props on display that showcased the artistry, talent and skill that so many of these prop-makers possess behind their hands.

It still boggles my mind how much work goes into every single little detail seen on screen. The chain mail seen in LOTR had be built on a mass scale, whilst balancing looking right, yet being light enough to wear for hours on end. The bristles on a giant wasp came from horse hair that had to be treated just right.

Overall, walking into the workshop was like wandering into a cave of the most eclectic uncle you’ve have in your family. Swords, sci-fi guns, armour, books … random animatronics … I can only imagine just how much cool technology and gear the Weta workshop make on a daily basis and I left the workshop, more appreciative of the artisans behind the scenes of these movies.

What really stole the show though, was my visit to Hobbiton. It so happened that the day we went to visit the set, was actually the first ever day they opened up the expansion to the tour. An expansion that allowed you to actually go inside a Hobbit home and truly immerse yourself.

Walking in and seeing every single detail that populated the bedroom, the kitchen, the pantry, the living room, the hallway, the reading room … it was simply amazing. I couldn’t imagine going on the movie tour without this segment. It elevated the entire experience and I really loved looking at how much work was put into making the Hobbit home feel lived in.

It was truly amazing to see how much work Peter Jackson put into building the set in the side of the Alexander Farm’s rolling green hills. I couldn’t believe how they made the little tavern, the small lake and the sheer planning and detail that went into building this tiny fantasy town. In many ways, it represents the heart of the entire franchise and I was glad I got to visit it with my partner.

The NZ Cultural Experiences

This is just a quick recap on some key cultural experiences that my partner and I visited and experienced.

  • The Waitomo Glow Worm Caves

The famous Glow Worm Caves of Waitomo was definitely a fun experience. Thankfully, I visited these caves before I became hooked on the Scary Interesting channel which has fundamentally warned me away from visiting a cave or swimming deep ever again.

The actual trip to the Glow Worm was already hectic. Rain poured the entire way there, soaking our rental car and making me thankful that I bought my Arcteryx Gamma jacket and On Running shoes. It didn’t help that we were running late according to the GPS, but my hours of driving F1 cars through thick rain on simulators came in handy and I was able to keep an average of 130km/h on the windy NZ roads the entire way there.

When we got there, I was struck by the way the tourist centre incorporated itself into the natural landscape. The building was echoing Maori architecture and it was grand how tall the roof was, shielding tourists like me from the rain. The mist that surrounded the entire area was cold, yet adding a touch of magic to the atmosphere. It was like walking into an older part of the world.

The cave itself was a humble entrance, with well designed walkways, handrails and plenty of stalactites and stalagmites to enthral everyone who walked in. But it was the pitch black descent onto a boat, that floated on an underground river that really got everyone. The moment the boat cast away from the dock and I could see our guide’s hand feeling her way through the river with rope, I felt a certain trepidation about the entire thing.

But that disappeared the moment the glow worms came into view.

It was like looking up at the sky filled with thousands of stars. The electric blue glows of the worms was beautiful, haunting and oddly peaceful. I remember squeezing my partner’s hand and feeling a serene glow overcome me as I stared the endless clusters of lights emanating from the roof. The only downside to this tour, was the time spent looking at the worms was far too short and before I knew it, we were struck by harsh daylight and the magic was over.

For a second, I wondered whether it would be amazing to be the first cave explorers to see these wonders, but after seeing how many times things go wrong in caves on the Sean’s Youtube channel, I’m going to hard pass on those opportunities. Caving isn’t for me.

  • Te Puia Geyser

The Te Puia tour we took in Rotorua was a spur of the moment decision. I remember driving up to the Te Puia Centre and it was a hot day. So hot that I was sweating in my polo, and I was cradling a massive medium sized cup of Lemon and Paeroa (my new favourite soft drink) from Wendys. I looked like every fat Western tourist ever and the photo my partner took of me outside the centre was hilarious.

The tour we went on was actually a lot more of a cultural education than I anticipated. It wasn’t just to see the famous geyser. It actually took us to a small kiwi enclosure where we could see them for the first time, and they were just as adorable as I imagined them to be. It’s actually quite sad to know that they were close to extinction due to dogs and cats wiping out so much of the native population.

After the Kiwi enclosure, came the geyser itself and the hot mud pools which were both amazing to look out, but also highly uncomfortable as it was already hot and getting closer to these natural marvels meant I was burning up even more. Whilst I’ve never seen a geyser in reality, I wasn’t that impressed by the phenomenon. I was however curious at how much the surrounding rocks and water changed in look having put up with these spray for hundreds of years. The yellow-baked white spray across the water and rocks made everything look so alien, that I was briefly reminded of all the science books I read about other planet surfaces.

Seeing how everything was bubbling, uncomfortably hot and smelled awful, just told me deep down how much other planets are inhospitable to humans.

The rest of the tour lacked that amusing anecdote but it was actually quite fascinating to see the New Zealand Maori Arts and Crafts in action, with students crafting incredible Maori art and textiles. Whilst many of the items were beyond my budget, I did wish I had something to bring home from that exhibit and store.

  • Shopping Centre

One of the silliest tests in my mind, when comparing things to back home, is going into a country’s biggest, and most impressive shopping centre and comparing it to Chadstone back home. For those in the dark about Chaddy, it is one of the biggest and most impressive in Australia. Luxury brands, entertainment, food … there is an unwritten rule in Melbourne about Chaddy. If you are a new brand, you need to open one store in the CBD and one in Chadstone to truly make it here.

The shopping centre my partner and I wandered around for a few hours in Auckland was Newmarket. Whilst it was impressive, in my mind, it reminded me too much of Doncaster. Whilst big, and boasting a few luxury brands, Newmarket was decidedly smaller and less impressive than I thought.

But that comparison is irrelevant. Because for the first time in NZ, I tried the famous St Pierre’s Sushi chain at Newmarket.

Needless to say I was disappointed with the quality, choice of sushi on display and the flavours. It has nothing on Sushi Hub here in Australia and for such a big chain, I can’t believe people enjoy St Pierre with regularity.

They don’t even do nigiri …

But that is enough ragging on St. Pierre. At Newmarket, it was nice. The shops were nice, the architecture was modern with plenty of natural light filtering through and to be honest, that was all it had to be …. nice.

  • Alpacas

My partner clamoured me to visit an alpaca farm for the entirety of our planning. I was ambivalent about the whole thing, but in all honesty, who can deny cute animals?

So imagine my surprise, when despite her eagerness, she froze up in fear at the sight of the animals and couldn’t hand feed them.

I ended up having to feed all of them. Their teeth actually tickled my hand a lot and it was a really fun experience for me, getting so close to such fluffy and cute animals. One thing that I definitely could have worked on was consoling my poor girlfriend though. She was terrified yet entranced by the alpacas and I should have comforted her a bit more.

In the end, we did snag a very cute souvenir (a tiny alpaca plush) and my partner didn’t seem to regret going to see these cute alpacas in reality. So that’s is what is important.

  • Street Market

There is an Auckland Night Market that bounces around the neighbourhood of the city every two weeks. This nomadic nature of the market means that it can appear in the most random locations and bring a party like atmosphere anywhere, any time.

The one we went to was in a Kmart underground parking lot and was dope as hell. Filled to the rafters with young people who brought their usual energy, vibes and custom cars, the night market was one of those experiences that made me feel like I was one of the locals. All kinds of people came to the market to trade their knock-off wares and buy random DVDs, croc charms and cheap NZ and Asian food. There was even a Vietnamese nail salon that offered its services and it was amazing to see lines of women waiting their turn.

There was a real authentic atmosphere in this tiny carpark where the night market had chosen its spot and that was what made it such an amazing experience. I loved walking around, checking out all the different kinds of food and trading cash with the cashiers. The down and dirty style of creating an event like this bought back so much nostalgia for me, because this was the kind of festival I liked going to as a kid.

The lack of safety oversight (no barriers between us and the hot cooking stove for example), the simple marquees, the eskies with drinks and ice …. this was the kind of festival I grew up around and being able to experience that same homely vibe in another country was just amazing.

The NZ Army

One of the most intriguing elements of NZ was the attitude towards the military. Unlike here in Australia, which largely dismisses or hides its military achievements, in NZ it was the opposite. I would like to argue that there is a direct link to the proud warrior traditions and culture of the Maori people to modern warfighting that ensures people who live in NZ are always respectful and solemn when it comes to all matters concerning the military.

After all, the national traditional dance, the haka is a war dance, designed to hype up its dancers to a bloodthirsty frenzy. Whilst it is a welcoming act, it is also a direct reminder of how Maori tribes used to fight each other for territory and supplies.

I think that this historical context is important to the reverence I can sense in a lot of people when it comes to war. They are proud of their small but capable military and are not afraid to show it.

This was seen in 3 major ways across my trip. The first, was obvious. A lot of the street names are named after famous military figures or battles. The second was the Gallipoli exhibition in the Te Papa national museum. Designed and created by the famous Weta workshop, these stunning, 3x larger than life statues are stunningly realistic and haunting. I was obsessed with the amount of details and care the geniuses at Weta put into these statues and they are a brilliant testament to the men and women who fought in WW1.

From the uniforms, the hairs on the statue faces, the oversized pistols and ornaments, the Gallipoli exhibition is truly a haunting experience. I don’t think anyone who walks out of that exhibition will underestimate just how seriously the people of New Zealand treat their military past.

The final major element for me was the amazing National Army Museum at the foot of Mt. Ruapehu (picture above). Even when you first walk in, you are greeted with the jade green of NZ’s national stone and hundreds of red poppies that commemorate NZ’s role in WW1. It’s a beautiful entrance to a huge museum that showcases every single aspect of every war NZ has ever been involved in.

From enemy weapons, to allies uniforms, there is so much to see, stare at and study in that museum. Japanese WW2 uniforms are shown next to Viet-Cong equipment. Then in a room over, you can see a mock-up what it is like to man a machine-gun nest in Africa, to experience what the infamous SASR go through in training, and even look at recovered weapons that feature bullet frag in them.

What really got the inner gun nerd in me geeking out though, was the gun room.

From flintlocks, to HK 416 rifles, there was just so much firearm history in the bottom. I loved that they featured every single faction’s common weapons, like German MP40s next to New Zealand marked M16A1s. I bored my poor partner to tears, listing off every single weapon I recognised, every single calibre, where they were used and what role they fulfilled.

To me, stepping into that gun room, was like a time portal, where I could appreciate every single individual soldier’s commitment to a cause greater than themselves and that these were the tools they used to prove that commitment.

I loved it, and I loved exploring NZ’s military history, because the same reverence for the military is not prevalent here in Australia. I got to really indulge in my inner military historian side and that is one of the main reasons why NZ is so high up there.

That and for some bizarre reason, as I was driving through NZ, I came across a repurposed Mil Mi-8 Russian utility helicopter near Huka Falls.

It was so random, bizarre and upon further study, it used to be Fidel Castro’s transport helicopter, and was even briefly a Nicaraguan presidential helicopter.

Now, it’s latest addition to its provenance, was a brief stint as a tour helicopter for passengers across NZ before her sister ship was involved in a horrible accident. Right now though, she currently sits dormant, waiting for the next random military aviation enthusiast like myself to come by and gawk.

Airsoft

Being able to experience airsoft for the first time, was a dream and a nightmare come true for me. I’ve always been jealous of the events Americans hold in their home country, such as Milsim West and other insane large scale events.

After all, who doesn’t want to pretend to be a solider for a day.

But I quickly learned that airsoft hurts like a bitch.

First, it humbles me, at just how fast I die.

Second, it fractures my ego when I realise how much it hurts to get shot.

Third, it proves that the idea of doing CQB solo means that I die within seconds.

Airsoft was fun, frantic and painful. In so many ways, you need a team with you to cover all the angles and I have never felt so much adrenaline being dumped into my body when I score hits or take them. It’s such a huge rush prepping your weapon, clearing corners and constantly scanning your surroundings.

But alas, the weapon they gave me, was a piece of junk, it lacked power, range and rate of fire and constantly jammed.

Despite that though, I was more pleased with my outfit and loadout. I was testing my latest shoes from On Running, the Cloudwanders, putting some serious pace in my Levi’s jeans, and Arcteryx henley and finally getting a chance to rock the paintball mask I had bought for myself all those years ago.

What absolutely sucked though, was seeing my poor girlfriend get shot so many times and having a miserable experienced. What made it even worse was that I couldn’t even protect her properly.

Which of course, humbled me right away. It dashed my dreams of being some ultra slick operator with the skills to protect my girlfriend in a terrorist attack.

And whilst airsoft did bring my ego down by a huge margin, it did motivate me to get fitter, and learn to take risks and be aggressive. Because whenever I did just that …. I often came out on top.

So, the moral of the story here is, after a few rounds of airsoft?

Get fitter, get quicker and get better.

Just get good.

Otherwise I’m dead.

Skyline Rotorua

Rotorua might be one of the most attractive places I have ever seen.

If there was an image of what earth, wind and water looked like in combination, to show to an alien, Rotorua might be the most idyllic image to present.

The lake itself is practically a mini-ocean. The rock formations that form along the lake borders and the little islands in the middle are absolutely stunning. Everywhere you look, it’s an incredible view.

I don’t know how else to put it in words. There’s a peace and serenity to Rotorua that just makes you want to live an idyllic life by the water and the mountains. What’s more, is the Skyline attraction, in which you take a gorgeous cable car up the mountain, before sledding down in a tiny kart that only features brakes and limited steering.

I remember seeing the view as the cable car climbed and honestly, it took my breath away. It was such a beautiful, serene, untouched view of nature that I really wished more places looked like this.

After all, Australia does not have this level of green and blue. It’s much more golden and red, and I could instantly see why people in NZ seem much happier, less bothered by the troubles of the world. Because when you are graced with this kind of view every day, how could you stay unhappy?

Rotorua is just one of those places that lets you escape from the world with it’s beauty, slower pace and serene views. It’s the place where you want to retire to, and just live out the rest of your life in natural landscapes that let you breathe without stress, or fear.

Let’s just sum up Rotorua as … if I had to buy a retirement home … it would be there.

NZ Misadventures

My partner and I did a lot of random little things in NZ.

We accidentally stumbled across two festivals, one in Rotorua, a humble, family friendly one with local wares and food trucks.

And another, Christmas-beach themed one that prevented us from entering our apartment for 2 hours and nearly made us burst our bladders. It was there I got to see how different Australians are from New Zealanders. The traffic controller … could not give two toss about how much of a hurry we were in to get home.

He did everything with a nonchalance that was borderline infuriating yet oddly hilarious.

It was the classic Kiwi’s indifference that really sold to us the fact that we were in a different country. Because if it wasn’t for that, and all the green, we would have thought that the entire country was just another state back home.

All these small things though, paled in comparison to the night where I locked my partner and I outside our apartment at 9pm in the evening.

To clarify, in order to get into our apartment, it requires two keys or swipes. One to get into the apartment building, and the other to get into the apartment itself.

I forgot to take the apartment one with me when I went out with my partner to do some quick grocery shopping at night.

We had no idea what to do. We tried knocking on the neighbour’s door. I entertained the idea of parkouring my way up into the balcony and opening it from the inside. We tried searching up the building’s phone number. We scoured our Airbnb records for any phone number.

Nothing worked. No response to the numbers we had. It was too late. The owners were probably asleep.

In the end, we gave up and sat in our car, hopeless and annoyed that our home was so close, yet so far.

Full credit to my partner though, and this is one of those moments in our relationship where I know I made the right choice in choosing who will stay by my side for the rest of my life … she did not get mad at me.

She was upset, tired and understandably annoyed, but she knew I was beating myself up way more than she ever could. So instead, she worked with me to find solutions, talked me about of dumb ones and eventually just tried to settle herself comfortably in what was going to be a long night.

It was then, as I was looking at her with huge sorrow, and I was playing with the swipe card, that I noticed a phone number on the back of it.

I called it.

A WOMAN ANSWERED.

I was beyond ecstatic. The owner instantly empathised with our situation, and wracked her brain to find a way to get in. At first, she didn’t give us much hope, as it was likely we had to wait til morning to get back in.

But then, she remembered that there was a cleaning locker with all the copies of the swipe cards in the building, and we could access it via … the basement carpark.

The hope that sprung in our hearts was excessive to say the least.

We went on an immediate scavenger hunt for the key to the cleaner’s lockers. I found the key atop a carpark’s support beam and cracked open the locker.

We took every single combination with us and gripping each other’s hands tightly, we went to our apartment door and ….

Click.

Bingo.

Hallelujah.

We got in and gave each other the biggest hug, before I did the right thing and entrusted my partner with the swipe cards this time and returned the ones we borrowed, before sending off the biggest and most grateful thank you to the Airbnb owner.

It was around midnight when we finally got back into our apartment and honestly … that was one of the best sleeps we ever had on the trip.

It’s moments like those, where I look at my partner and just think to myself … I’m so glad, I’m on a holiday with the right one.

Yes, I shared some incredible moments on this holiday with her, but that right there, proved to me, that she was the right person for me and I cannot wait to go on another holiday with her soon.

They say that international trips can make or break a relationship.

New Zealand made ours even better than it already was.

And for that, Aotearoa will always have a soft spot in my heart.

~Damocles.

A Consul’s Record – 11-12-2023

Discipline … the one thing I’ve always struggled with.

I always struggled to pinpoint why I’ve always lacked discipline. For all accounts, when I had it for a year, I was the fittest and healthiest I’ve ever been.

I had the time to exercise, to go out, to balance work and pleasure and even to diet … it was all highly regimental and focused. I made sure I exercised every day, to eat a light meal and really push my body.

This golden period only lasted for a year before I jumped feet first into the world of events.

Ever since then, I’ve been praying and hoping that I find some kind of rhythm to settle down into. But that has eluded me.

Which means that I honestly need to re-evaluate getting up in the morning now to fit in something. Whether it will be writing, exercising, practising shooting with my guns, cooking or reading …. I need to maximise my time awake.

If my schedule really is as hectic as it seems, where I don’t seem to have regular work hours or days even, then I got to make time.

But where do I find the motivation? That is always the hardest part. It’s so easy to claim that I just need to put an hour aside for exercise, but whether I’ll actually do it, is an entirely different matter.

The same goes for dieting. If I am to lose some of the belly I’ve gained over the past year, how do I do that? I’m always out, in another location, without access to microwaves or implements.

The answer is obvious …. cooking cold meals. Kimbaps, pesto pastas, soba noodles, club sandwiches, salads … the options are there, they just don’t appeal to me as I want them to.

But these are general issues that I should have resolved ages ago. How about the past week?

As usual, Messina has proven itself to be a difficult workplace to figure out. The higher ups have an idea what they want me to be, but practically speaking, I’m just another convenient tough casual for them to abuse.

Sink or swim motherfucker.

That was the general vibe I’ve been getting since I signed up for the job. Zero inductions, constant random loans, fluctuating work hours, short notice, no proper SOPs in place ….

I was given an apron, a tea-towel, a uniform and told to find my way up the metaphorical Messina equivalent of Brecon Beacons.

I’ve survived, but I’m not happy. Along the way, there have been fights, a whole lot of confusion and just a lot of damn inefficiency. It’s upended my personal life and drained my bank accounts.

Not exactly the best start to what is supposed to be a full-time job.

In spite of the extremely challenging conditions, I’ve gotten up to speed hyper quick, by everyone’s standards. I may not be very disciplined, but my ability to filter through the useless bullshit and the useful intel is still very much intact. I’ve never struggled to adapt quickly to any situation, but what I am most proud of this past week, are the lessons I’ve learnt in the past ringing clear in my mind.

I’ve been able to control my emotions, regulate frustration, hold my tongue when appropriate and actually put together plans. I’m starting to see how important to put aside time for critical tasks and to really add generous buffer to every task I do.

But when I notice how discipline I become when it comes to planning ahead and plotting the course of the week, suddenly life seems a lot more bearable. I feel like I am ahead of the curve, instead of behind and that just gives me a boost of confidence and morale to push harder.

Now if I can just control my roster and really manage my sleep and find some more time to squeeze in all my hobbies …. life would be very peachy.

Just remember Damocles … no matter how crazy life is, you need to instil some discipline in it.

Make Messina and life as a whole yours again.

Even if you have to wake up a bit earlier ….

~ Damocles.