The 2024 Conspectus

2024 is on my personal record as the most difficult and maturing 365 days I have ever experienced.

When I look back at the year, it’s hard to see past the 6 months of unemployment that dominated the landscape of my life. For months, I was stuck in this hellhole that I couldn’t climb out.

And no matter how many life-lines my partner threw at me, how many ropes that dangled just out of reach, I couldn’t seem to grasp it and pull myself out.

It all started when I realised that the new job I found in late-2023 wasn’t going anywhere. Events Team Leader at a Gelato store. The title spoke for itself. I wasn’t even deemed “manager” material. I thought that it was going to be exciting, fun and the ideal job for me.

My fantasy was that I was going to run big activations, work on exciting events and plan ahead for attending the Australian Open or Formula 1 with my well-known ice-cream brand.

Instead, I was hit with drudgery. Endless late-night finishes, that took me all around Victoria, attending weddings, conferences and random activations in office buildings. Always reacting and never getting a moment to plan ahead. But when there was a moment to plan ahead, the head office didn’t want me to do anything.

This resulted in a lot of free time and my age-old problem with my working career reared itself up again.

I felt like a sword slowly rusting away in a dirty scabbard. While yes, when I was juggling two casual jobs at once, I felt a sword being used by an amateur, at least I was pulled out of the scabbard.

But at this ice-cream store, there was literally nothing to do. Head office wasn’t going to promote me anytime soon, nor did they want to expand the scope and operations in Melbourne, especially when they were juggling expansion ideas in Sydney and other states. So, there was nothing for me to do at the warehouse, except sit there, waiting for events to come to me, where I would finish the admin aspect literally in 20 minutes.

With that lack of work to do, I started to slip. I started working from home against their wishes, even though there was nothing for me to do at the warehouse, except random odd jobs here and there. Then when they reprimanded me for this, I would turn up to work late, unmotivated and bored out of my mind. I was being given full-time hours, with nothing to do.

I started rebelling even more, clocking in at work, but immediately leaving to work my casual job at Fed Square instead. I nicknamed it the double shift, because whilst I was meant to be at the Gelato store, I instead was working elsewhere.

When I complained to my girlfriend about the situation, she and I agreed that it was time to leave. I was determined to finish my Project Management course that I had started during this dull stint at the ice-cream store, but it was now time to get the hell of here.

So, I started job-hunting. From March 2024, my life became all about the exit strategy. I was determined to get out, whilst finishing my Project Management course, because I knew that there were serious gaps in my resume.

Every week, I applied for job after job with the help of my girlfriend. Our chats, once filled with banter, now became inundated with job applications. I wasn’t taking too seriously at first, but when the rejections began to pile up, I started to wise up fast. Nothing was biting.

Then during winter, work dried up even more at Messina. I could see the writing on the wall. I was being used in store as a extra pair of hands, and the new operations manager had it in for me. Apparently I complained too much about not having enough to do, that I was unwilling to travel to Sydney frequently and my random absences were not appreciated.

The hammer landed on me in July. In total, I worked there for 10 months before they decided to make me redundant. I was cut off in less than 3 days. No real warning, just an intimidating phone call from one of the 4 partners and the refusal to let me continue to work, despite me cleaning up my act for the past 4 weeks learning at a store.

They cast me aside as quickly as they hired me.

From making a decent, but small sum every week, to now living off my casual job at Fed Square, where I truly did not get that many shifts.

The job hunt became an obsession. Every week, I applied for 20+ jobs, constantly changing my CV to make it better, tweaking my cover letters, filling out form after form of the same questions.

In total, I applied for 397 jobs over the course of 6 months.

I got 8 job interviews.

That is a 2% chance.

Then you need to factor in the fact that I may have landed the interview, but I was now competing with a dozen more candidates, who all did better than me and landed the job I wanted.

I came runner-up twice.

I would bitterly label those occasions the age-old racing adage …. coming second is the first loser across the line.

And I truly did feel like a loser. My relationship was now extremely rocky. We kept fighting each other, snapping at random moments and there was this awful tension on our minds that refused to go away. For my poor girlfriend, her anxiety shot through the roof. The stress was at an all time high for her. She was stuck in a position where her life dream of owning a property was in serious jeopardy because of my unemployment.

I couldn’t afford to look at the big picture like that. Instead, all I could do, was focus on the next job application at hand. Every week, I checked Seek, LinkedIn, Victorian Government job ads for something new. Something full-time and permanent.

I pored over my resume, inspecting every word, twisting sentences so that they sounded more grander and impressive. The cover letter must have gone through 19 different versions and soon I was able to tailor them for specific roles by having so many templates available, that I could transform at a moment’s notice.

I kept my focus on the granular, because I knew that there was only one path out of this hellhole I found myself in.

My girlfriend though, couldn’t stop stressing about the larger picture. So we kept on fighting, making up, and then running through the cycle again.

But this cycle was soon broken. Not by me landing a job, but by me really analysing why she was so worried, and what I could do to help.

In all honesty, there was nothing I could do truly relieve the stress until I landed the job.

She knew that.

I knew that.

But my conflict resolution skills with her grew exponentially. I learned to control my temper, to stay focused on the topic at hand and really take the emotional hits when she lashed out. Never once, did I get so angry that I lost control of my temper nor voice.

Instead, I would fall silent, and focus on my breathing as I sorted through all my feelings. My girlfriend could really see through me and knew what to say, even though it hurt like hell.

However, I knew all of this was coming from a good place. She cared about me so much, that she wanted me to be the man I always wanted to be. Our vision for who I should be was a shared one and she was determined to help me there, whether it was with a carrot or a stick.

My stubbornness and difficult attitude meant that she had to wield the stick more often than not.

But finally, in December, I beat the shitty odds.

I survived three rounds of interviews to finally land a job at Guide Dogs Victoria, as their event manager.

The elation I felt was soon tempered by the fact that I made the mistake of taking on a full-time role at Fed Square when the job opened up.

But both managers were understanding. I was able to leave the Fed Square role and drop back to being a casual within two weeks.

So that meant that for a week … for five days in a row, I worked double. I did my 9-5 stint at Guide Dogs, learning and getting inducted, then headed straight over to Fed Square where I would work from 5-2am.

That week, where I was worked to the bone … summed up 2024 to me. Yes I had some good fortune in landing the job, but my personal concept of “life equilibrium” soon kicked in and made sure I got an ass-kicking before I could enjoy the new job.

For every single positive moment I had in 2024, it was automatically balanced with a negative one.

Equilibrium.

Gone are the days where my luck would hold out and I could coast along in life without a care in world.

Now, I’m subjected to the same rules of this world as everyone else is.

But this is a blessing not a curse. I feel more confident in my abilities to handle shit situations, more in control of my emotions and less ruled by the whims of Lady Luck. Now my hard work creates all the luck I need.

Looking back at all the photos I took this year ….I’m glad to say that I did a lot more than I expected.

Together, my girl and I:

• Travelled to Sydney together for the first time and did all the normal tourist stuff that people should do more often
• Explored regional Victoria a lot more than I thought, Daylesford, Mornington, Sorrento and Lorne.
• Went to our first Australian Open Charity match and saw Carlos Alcaraz in action.
• Celebrated a memorable Scuderia Ferrari 1-2 win at the Australian Formula 1 Grand Prix
• Attended our first friend’s wedding together
• Heralded in a Lunar New Year at a Buddhist temple for the first time
• Caught a Taylor Swift concert when she came here to Melbourne
• Experienced a Tosca opera for the first time
• Tried a ice-skating date for what is sure to be the first and last time
• Went on multiple double dates, including seeing an Ancient Egyptian exhibit
• Climbed a mountain together on a small hike
• Saw Coldplay
• Was captivated by the Beauty and the Beast musical
• Learned a lot more about each other and how we think
• Knowing how to resolve conflicts between us

As for myself ….

• I prioritised seeing my friends more, hosting BBQs more frequently so that all my boys can catch up more regularly
• This includes more frequent games of cricket and physical activity to ensure we all stay sharp and fit
• I managed to complete my project management course
• I had the pleasure of seeing my favourite driver, Charles Leclerc win multiple iconic races at Monza and Monaco
• I have found a new passion for the sport of baseball, thanks to watching highlights of Shohei Ohtani go on his record breaking season
• Seeing the LA Dodgers win the World Series and especially seeing the moment when Freddie Freeman smashed a Walk-off Grand Slam in Game 1 of the World Series against the New York Yankees
• Realising that working at Guide Dogs helps me appreciate the luck I had, being born with good vision
• Going into work every day knowing that I’m working for a place that makes a difference
• Getting used to seeing Labradors in the office regularly and enjoying their company
• Getting proficient at using Excel to plan itineraries and starting my new financial journey

2024 had it’s moments, despite the awfulness that dominated the landscape. Overall, it was a difficult and challenging year, it’s overall negative vibe overshadowing a lot of shallow fun moments.

The main thing I learned last year was control. That was the main theme. 2024 was all about control. Knowing what I can change, adjust and work on, and what I can’t.

Even if things were out of control, make small steps so that I can begin to affect the outcome in a more positive manner.

It’s about seeing the big picture, then isolating a corner and starting small, so that eventually the entire painting is complete.

I know that I’ve gotten really good at breaking everything down into granular steps, into tangible motions that will let me steer the big ship. I can zoom in, whilst still seeing the bigger picture.

It’s why nowadays, I can finance better. I’ve taken control of my spending habits and religiously track every dollar that comes out. I’ve wrestled control of an direction-less project at my new job. I’ve begun to regularly exercise and settle into a routine.

Life is better when I got my hands on the steering wheel and I’m exercising restraint.

Without the chaos of 2024, I doubt I would have the mentality that I do now, nor would I have the closeness with my beautiful girlfriend.

The past year tested me, challenged me and grew me into a better man.

I don’t know what 2025 has in store for me, but I know that I got to be in control and appreciate the small things. Life has always been a marathon, and I need to embrace that.

To end this reflection, I would like to reference a movie.

What we do in life, echoes in eternity.

In my case however, it’s very much

What you do now, will help in the future

This is why I keep a frame copy of the horrible excel sheet that has 397 job applications nearby.

It’s a sobering reminder than no matter how good, how valuable and how talented you think you are … no-one cares, unless you can transform yourself to meet the standards today.

That is the only way I ended up beating the 2% odds.

~ Damocles.